"Deep listening is miraculous for both listener and speaker. When someone receives us with open-hearted, non-judging, intensely interested listening, our spirits expand." Sue Patton ThoeleYOUR DE-TALK CENTER
Here is an excellent and effective way to improve your listening. Find your Listening Center, a place and a way your body can help you listen. Do just three things to put yourself in your Listening Center.
SHUSH, JJ
Remember Judgment Jabber (JJ), that internal voice that judges you? It can be a mighty powerful impediment to listening. It's voice inside that tells you are doing something incorrectly, or you can't do something, or you are not doing well enough, or someone does not like you, or you are ignorant, or your hair is wrong. Recognize that voice?
Some of us are not aware that Judgment Jabber is talking to us and competing for our attention when we are trying to listen. Or that it is making us so nervous that we cannot listen well.
By becoming aware of voice, we very often lessen its negative effects. We can even talk to it. Give it a name and ask it to be quiet for a while. "Jezebel, I am busy listening right now. Shhh." You will be surprised at how recognition can calm it. That's first step in finding your Listening Center.
"The greatest motivational act one person can do for another is to listen." Roy E. Moody
DIS-ARMOR YOURSELF
We all have places in our body where we hold our tension -- our personal body armor. Mine is usually in my jaw. This tension can be a great interference with listening. However, if we are conscious of it, we can catch this tension when it begins to take hold, stop it and relax it. Check for your body armor when you are listening. Relaxing it is second step in going to your Listening Center.
"Trees are earth's endless effort to speak to listening heaven." Rabindranath Tagore
THE LISTEN POSITION
We have a certain posture, maybe more than one, which we associate with listening. Right now assume a posture that indicates that you are hearing just about most boring person you have ever heard. That's your opposite-of-listening posture.