This is a very different statement than person who says, “I intend to have this new business up and running within one year.”

If you haven’t heard that last sort of statement much, it’s because it usually doesn’t come out in casual conversation, where vague dreams are bandied about. It tends to show up in actions, such as a business plan, a spreadsheet, contracting with a coach, making an appointment with an intellectual property attorney, or selling an asset to build capital to endure some lean months.

There’s a crucial difference between “willing to do something” and “wanting to do something.” Of course it reminds us of term “willpower,” which means you are managing yourself toward an outcome. Your “will” is what you use when you are putting pressure on yourself to accomplish something and directing your behavior, with focus.

It’s also when you don’t want to do something, i.e., we talk about dieting taking will power. Willing to do something requires a thought-process and then a chain of action-events. In Emotional Intelligence, we call thought process that precedes this determined action “Intentionality.” Now let’s take a look at difference between “willing to” and “wanting to.”

DEFINITIONS

Willing to - Used to express determination, insistence, persistence, or willfulness (I have made up my mind to go and go I will); used to express inevitability. Shows Intentionality. Used to express a command, exhortation, or injunction, or commitment to act in a certain way to make something happen.

Wanting to - To desire something, to have a strong inclination toward it, to wish for something. Implies no action or intent.

COMPARISONS

You're determined to what it takes vs. You may not take any action at all

"I’ve had more potential partners through eharmony.com ( http:/ inyurl.com/2lyea ) than I ever did dating around my hometown,” says my client whom I’ll call Mary. She’s over 50, single, and interested in finding a life partner.

“I’ve always done better with some sort of introduction,” she says. “All near-misses were people I’d known before, or was introduced to. It works better to know something about other person. It saves a lot of time in long run.”

“Another big plus,” she says, “is you can terminate relationship easily without hurt feelings.”

Nobody looks forward to that rejection-point, and with online dating it’s as painless as it can be.

Most people find online dating is an easy and pressure-free way to meet people. It may take some getting used to if you aren’t an Internet person, but here are some points to consider.

COMPATIBILITY

Eharmony.com (http:/ inyurl.com/2lyea ) and other sites ask you to take a personality profile and then they match you with people who are already predictably compatible with you. Imagine how much time this saves.

CAN’T STAND, MUST HAVE

They also allow you to choose and state your “can’t stands” and “must haves.” These could come out in conversation, but are touchy areas to begin with, and I’ll admit when I took profile, they brought up some points I wouldn’t have thought of to ask myself. They range from attitudes, to beliefs, to appearance, to values.

PACING

The initial stages of getting to know other person can be by format, and then by personal email. This slows down things long enough for you to take a good look at other person and compatibility factor.

PARADISE FOR WOMEN

At this point, of 40 million people who access online dating every month, there are more men than women looking. This is reverse of what you will find in most towns and in other venues. This is particularly enticing for over 50 crowd. Online dating is one of fastest growing Internet adventures, and for good reason. Most singles are looking for a viable and loving partnership. Life goes better when you’re a couple!

TIME FACTOR

Online dating saves tons of time, and that’s what we have least of. As we run around all day and then try and find venue for meeting nice others in evening, we stretch a commodity that’s already in short supply. Moves complicate picture; we become new kid on block again.

You can choose people as rapidly as they respond, and eliminate them this way as well.

ADVANTAGES