You expect it to happen and will participate in making it happen vs. You wish it will but do nothing about it

EXAMPLE

Nels went after promotion at work. He was determined to make it happen, and used his Intentionality. He made sure others knew of his contributions. He worked hard on his emotional intelligence. He did necessary politicking, and he thought continually of what else he could do to make it happen. He consulted with his EQ coach for guidance. He made it his goal for an entire year to make this happen. He took extra training, and enrolled in a night college course that fleshed out his curriculum vitae. It is small wonder he was given promotion, and a bonus.

Eduardo wanted promotion at work and figured that his work and good record would be obvious to those who would be making promotion. Aside from that, he didn't know what else he could do but wait and see. He had a good record, got along well enough, and had been there a long time. Even though he'd never been given a promotion, he hoped this would be time, that time would be on his side, and he did nothing out of ordinary to make it happen. He mentioned to his wife he’d like to get promotion, and she gave him some ideas, but he ignored them. He mentioned it to a friend, who suggested he hire a coach. Eduardo ignored this good advice. He just kept hoping it would happen, as year after year went by. It became a case of “wishful thinking.”

KEY POINT

"There is a big difference in wanting to and willing to." ~ Bear Bryant, Coach, University of Alabama, Roll Tide!

BENEFITS

Willing something to happen means you are using Emotional Intelligence competency of Intentionality. You mean what you say and you say what you mean, and you do what it takes to bring about results.

RELATED DISTINCTIONS

Doing vs. Trying Focus vs. Vagueness Steering vs. Drifting Swimming vs. Treading Water

The cost is next-to-nothing.

INTROVERTS

It’s especially good for introverts, who have disadvantage in bar scene, for instance. Introverts are generally more comfortable with a slow introduction and getting-to-know you period, communicate well in writing, and enjoy peace and tranquility of being able to control pace of an email and compose their thoughts.

“What I enjoy,” says Tom, “is I can do this on spur-of-the-moment. Come home late at night tired, put on my casual clothes, forget about my 5:00 shadow and aching feet, and get on computer. I don’t have to get dressed and go out. I know how to look good, but I don’t have that much time. That will come later.”

DISADVANTAGES

I can’t think of any!

There are same chances for deception – faked photos, married people trying to get into action, people who are dysfunctional – as you would find in real life, but my clients find you have much more of a safety net.

If it’s new to you, there will be a learning curve, but you’ll learn to filter out phoneys and weirdos just as you do in real life.

I’ve heard people say they’d be ashamed to date online, but I really don’t get it. It allows you to swing a much wider net. Maybe it’s because in my family we got outside of our hometown for all sorts of adventures. My mother was from Texas, and my father from Chicago. We lived in different cities as my father worked his way up in his profession, and then I went to an out-of-state college. My former husband was from another state. I’ve always considered US – if not beyond – to be my playing field. Have you?

On some of sites you might be matched with someone from another country, and who knows what could happen. The choice is always yours to pursue or not to pursue, and that’s good part.

Nearly half adults in US are now single (43%), and we’re looking for one another. The computer, Internet, has great potential in this area.

RAISE THE BAR

Sometimes someone tells me, “Those people are desperate. I’m not desperate. They’re people who can’t find someone in real life.”

I don’t know what isn’t “real life” about finding someone through Internet, or what’s “desperate” about wanting a partner. They’re just as real once you see them!

But my answer to this is, “If you feel that way, why don’t you raise bar? YOU’RE not desperate and YOU’RE looking, so jump in there. Someone looking for you as hard as you're looking for them, and they have everything to offer you do. Why not give it a try - http:/ inyurl.com/2lyea .