Why You Need Coaching to Learn Emotional IntelligenceWritten by Susan Dunn, MA Clinical Psychology, The EQ Coach
Emotional intelligence (EQ) is ability to recognize your feelings and those of others, to motivate yourself, and to manage emotions well in yourself and others. (Goleman, 1995). EQ can be learned, so of course we’re interested in how to measure it. Many of tests are self-report, meaning individuals are asked to rate themselves in different categories. The assessment Goleman created, Emotional Competence Inventory (ECI) assesses 20 emotional competencies. It’s probably already occurred to you that someone who isn’t very high in EQ wouldn’t be able to assess their own EQ very well, because it takes awareness. In fact one of scales on ECI is called Accurate Self Assessment, and measures how aware person is of their own strengths and weaknesses. And, yes, it turns out in a study done by Michelle Burckle, that those who scored low in Accurate Self Assessment had much larger gaps between their views of themselves and other’s views of them.
| | Subtle AddictionsWritten by Dr. Margaret Paul
The following article is offered for free use in your ezine, print publication or on your web site, so long as author resource box at end is included. Notification of publication would be appreciated.Title: Subtle Addictions Author: Margaret Paul, Ph.D. E-mail: mailto:margaret@innerbonding.com Copyright: © 2003 by Margaret Paul Web Address: http://www.innerbonding.com Word Count: 642 Category: Personal Growth, Addictions SUBTLE ADDICTIONS By Margaret Paul, Ph.D. Many people are aware of fact that addictions are used to avoid pain, and most of us are aware of common addictions: food, alcohol, drugs, gambling, TV, spending, work, sex, rage and so on. Most people, however, are not aware of more subtle addictions, addictions that are often so covert and pervasive that they are as invisible to us as air we breathe. Yet these addictions may be impacting us negatively as much as more overt addictions. Take Sam, for example. Sam is kind of person who ends up doing everything, both at home and at work. Sam works much harder in his retail business than either of his two partners, and often feels overwhelmed by amount of work he has to do. On weekends, he ends up doing a lot of work around house, even though he has two strong teenagers who could be helping out. Even when others offer to help, Sam turns them down. Sam is devoted to being a "nice guy" and caretaking others - doing for others what they need to be doing for themselves. On a deeper level, he is always trying to control how others’ perceive him. He wants them to see him as a caring person and often feel victimized when others do not give him approval he seeks. Then, when others react to his attempts to control how they feel about him with irritation or withdrawal, Sam is angry that they are not approving of him. When he is really upset, he will get drunk. He will often obsessively ruminate about how unjust his wife is or his partners are. If his wife wants to explore their problems, Sam goes into defending, explaining and resisting, stating that she is just trying to control him. When nothing else works, Sam will withdraw.
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