And you failed miserably when you went out into real world.

Let me tell you why and what you need to do instead. But first a story that illustrates my point...

A few years ago I moved into a very well paid position in company where I worked. And in my new job I was dealing with company directors, business owners and senior executives -- face to face.

And to make it all even more challenging I would meet them on their territory - in their offices.

Teachers of pacing and leading would tell me to pace these executives and then to gradually lead them.

However this is 21st century where everything happens at warp speed. You need to take charge of social interactions within first 5 seconds or its all over.

First impressions do count.

This applies in business and in your social life. If you hesitate, wait and even... pace and lead game will be over before you know what has happened.

Here is what you need to do:

1 Take Great Care of Yourself.

Get enough sleep, eat well and take exercise that makes you feel good on a regular basis.

Neglect your body and your emotional state will slide too.

And before you know it you will not have energy to rise to occasion.

Having tons of energy is absolutely crucial if you want to excel. When you feel fantastic it gets easier and easier to be at your very best whenever you choose to be.

2 Lead and then Pace!

Instead of pacing and leading do this...

Get yourself into a great emotional state FIRST. The other person will then follow your lead.

The more energetic you are, happier you are and more confident you are --- easier it is to lead other person.

Today he was very negative about people of area we live in. According to him they are all thieves and crooks.

Now this makes me really angry when I hear him talking like this since I have had very positive experiences with people I have dealt with locally. I find locals to be very friendly, helpful and considerate.

So we disagree on facts. What can I do about his negative thinking? What can you do when dealing with negative people?

Three Ways To Deal With Negative People

1 Get specific

When someone is caught up in negative thinking they will often generalize their statements. It is a good idea to ask them questions to clarify what they mean.

For example if my friend says all dogs are aggressive I will ask him:

Small dogs or big dogs? All dogs or certain breeds? According to who? In what kind of situations?