When Men Are "Emotional Camels" Written by http://www.lifematesonline.com
Many women find it hard to understand how men in their lives can be satisfied with life as it is. Don't they need more passion? Don't they need more fun? Don't they need to have more of a connection with their family, their wife, or their community? Regardless of area of concern, truth is that many men are what I call "emotional camels." Just like a camel can go forever without water in heat of desert, so can many men go without intimacy, feelings of fulfillment, or excitement life can offer. Men from all walks of life tend to strive to have a sort of emotional harmony or peace, or what some may call "an emotional flat-line." It's not that men don't like feelings, it's that they are willing to sacrifice highs and lows for steady, even-keeled experience of life. This is a good thing to them. Most men hate being depressed, or sad, or angry. They want these feelings to go away as quickly as possible, so they can return to their "flat line" state. While some women also have this same tendency, majority actually seem to enjoy wide range of emotions and seem reluctant to get over anything too soon. This can drive a man bonkers, especially since he has to deal with her when she's not happy. He usually wants to help her get out of these "negative" states so she no longer is a "problem" to him. Her down times affect him, which threaten to destabilize his current flat line state. While men can live without intimacy for quite a while, they usually can't live without sex of some form, even if it's just with themselves. But masturbation can be just enough to keep him satisfied for most part for quite a while, yet for women, even those who enjoy sex with themselves regularly, this is not enough for very long. They need connection with another person, shared intimacy that gives sex meaning. Often guys almost prefer simplicity of masturbation because its quick, easy, and uncomplicated. They don't need "heart" thing as much and as often, just orgasms. Being an emotional camel also translates into men not needing much ego stroking from their partner. That is why men usually give so little of this medicine to woman in their life. They figure "If I don't need it, why should she?" Knowing they "have to" give at least a little, they do, but only what they think is reasonable.
| | Handling Holiday Stress: Ten Tips For SinglesWritten by Toni Coleman
Here we go again. Presents to buy, work to finish up, cards to write, plans to make, events and parties to attend: and all those things we “must do” because we’ve always done them. Does this sound familiar? Do you go to sleep at night with feeling that you are hopelessly behind schedule, yet have made good use (overuse) of your time? Do you experience even a small measure of dread as you approach this season, and a large measure of relief when it’s all over? Most importantly, are you savoring any of lovely sights, sounds, smells and feelings that are unique to this time of year; or are you just too tired and rushed to even notice? If this describes you, you are probably suffering from holiday stress. Compounding this is widely held belief that this is just way it has to be, and that your task is to just get through it.The following tips are designed to give you a new perspective on this all too common problem. Read on, and see if you can make some small behavior changes/additions that could result in a lot less stress and a lot more enjoyment in weeks ahead. 1.If you have a fairly sizeable family/extended family to shop for, your level of monetary, time and emotional stress can be very high. Therefore, consider approaching your family about your present tradition of gift exchanging. Growing in popularity is system of drawing one name (of one family member) to buy a nice gift for. Everyone in family receives one gift that another member had time (and budget) to choose well. If your family is resistant, you could opt for two gifts per person, or some other compromise. 2.Try a new tradition of having a shopping day with friends (or family). Draw up your list, head for a nice mall or town center with great little shops (even better) and make it a day of shopping, lunch and lattes. You could finish with a late afternoon movie! 3.Consider on-line shopping. This is a great way to save time and get free gift-wrapping without lines and headaches. It also allows more time for you to choose just right gift for each person. You can have them mailed to you or sent to whatever address they will eventually be going to. 4.If you send cards, consider after Christmas cards or New Year’s cards. Why rush to send them before Christmas? The folks who receive them will have more time to focus on your news after Christmas, and may even find it more fun to receive something in mail during quiet “let down” period that follows each holiday.
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