The same is true for romance. Most men are relatively "unmoved" by romantic gestures. It's just not that exciting or important to them. So, they know they should put in more effort to be romantic because it's something their woman wants, but that's usually only reason. (Unless you are in initial bliss stages of a relationship - then they'll do just about anything, naturally.) Otherwise, it's more of an issue of guys giving slightly more than they need, which isn't much at all for most men.

So, does this all this mean that men are dead emotionally? Not at all! As a matter fact, men are much more emotional than most would believe. But it's different than it is for women. Men get emotional over different things, like sports and driving. They do not lack emotion. It's just that they require very little "emotional fulfillment" in their day to day lives, and can go for days, weeks, and some even years without a whole lot of intimacy, romance, connection with others, high highs and low lows. These men aren't broken, that's just way they are.

How does knowing and accepting this help women? First, it changes what things mean such as his lack of enthusiasm for things she cares about, i.e. romance, intimate sex, time with her, etc. etc. It's not that he's bored with her, it's that he is boring. His flatline state is intact and yet she feels something is missing. Something is, but only for her really. Her challenge is to learn how to be happy without expecting him to act, think, and feel like she wants him to. She may learn how to get him to make some adjustments, but his whole personality will not change overnight. Her continued efforts, realistic expectations, and patience will make it more possible to get him out of his trance once in a while to join her land of living.

5.Try to plan a few extra days off right before or during December-January holidays. Even one extra day could be useful to pack, get an early start on travel, finish up last minute chores or errands, or catch up on sleep and R&R. We often mistakenly assume we will feel more rushed and behind if we take down time- reverse is actually what occurs.

6.Do an inventory of your must-do. After you make your list, go through each one and ask yourself is this activity really gives you pleasure or serves your needs or needs of a loved one. Cross off any that don’t answer yes to above question. Make sure you are not doing things out of rote because that’s way it has always been. If you have one or two you are unsure of, put them at end of your list of priorities. This way, you can get to them if you have time after you have done things you know will be of value to you.

7.Consider having a cleaning service come in at least once during next month. Imagine extra time (and lowered stress) you would have if someone else cleaned your bathroom and kitchen, washed your floors, dusted your furniture, etc. What a nice gift to give yourself!

8.Arrange to have a massage, facial, manicure or other spa treatment. These are wonderful stress relievers. They are especially nice late in day at end of a hectic few days. Afterwards, you can go out for a quiet meal or go home and get some things done and then get a restful night’s sleep.

9.Make sure you are doing some kind of regular exercise. This should be part of your life 52 weeks of year. However, during high stress periods, it is more important. It is a fact that exercise increases energy and positive self-esteem and decreases depression. It is also a way to improve sleep and keep your weight in check.

10.Try to get some extra sleep. You will probably have to begin decompressing a little sooner than usual on those nights. Don’t eat dinner too late, or eat anything too heavy. Avoid alcohol those nights. Get ready for bed and lie down with a good book or in front of a favorite show. If you exercised earlier, this will help you to be more relaxed and ready to sleep. Even one hour three times a week will make a difference in your mood and energy level.

Read these suggestions over carefully and consider which ones might be useful to you. After you have begun to implement them; take a deep breath, sit back, and drink in some of lovely sights, sounds and smells of this cherished season.