"Hoy-day! What a sweep of vanity comes this way!" William Shakespeare, "The Life of Timon of Athens"If there's one characteristic we hope we don't have, it's vanity. We'd rather be considered aggressive, driven, petty, even mean than have others feel that we think too much of ourselves.
Isn't that hilarious?
We're all vain. The world appears to revolve around us because we literally can't see it any other way. Our reality is constructed entirely of our perceptions of how everyone and everything responds to us. It's impossible to remove ourselves from
center of our own universe.
That's our starting point, anyway. We want to veer toward selflessness, but no matter how hard we try, we remain rooted to idea that how others see us really matters.
Oh, sure, we can pretend we're beyond that. We can say that we don't give a hoot about what others think of us. But even that is a bit of a conundrum--it's more likely that we care that others think we don't care what they think! See what I mean?
"Vanity is so secure in heart of men that everyone wants to be admired; even I who write this, and you who read this." Blaise Pascal, French mathematician & writer
It certainly doesn't escape me that it takes a hefty amount of vanity to think that others will be interested in reading what I write. I struggle with concept of vanity on several levels--as a 43-year-old woman in America trying to deal with aging and expectations of our society, as a writer sending out articles every week, as a mind masseuse helping clients. That's all about me when you get down to it. Plenty of vanity in this picture.
Like most people, I want to do good work, and I want to feel validated by others for that work. Is that so wrong?
Well, no. We all engage in activities throughout day for our own benefit, and we hope that what we do will end up helping other people. Confidence and self- interest are essential in any work and in all service to others. Pride can move us toward having a more powerful and positive impact on world.
How do we keep vanity in check?
"The only cure for vanity is laughter, and only fault that's laughable is vanity." Henri Bergon, French philosopher and Nobel prize winner
That's right. Laugh! The most important step you can take to make sure you aren't headed down that vanity path is to recognize that you ARE. And greatest way to spin around and head toward humility is to laugh at yourself.
