"Follow your instincts. That's where true wisdom manifests itself." Oprah Winfrey

Last week unthinkable happened. A 17-year-old classmate of my daughter was killed in a fluke accident. Needless to say our whole family was shaken and saddened by this seemingly senseless event.

Allison’s natural and healthy grieving was beginning to take its course as we began to deal with reality at hand. Fortunately, she hasn’t had many opportunities to deal with death in her young life. Dinner that night was painful; we had an understandably quiet and upset teenager trying to get through dinner, sinking deeper and deeper into a cacophony of feelings.

As her parent I knew it was up to me to comfort, support, provide wisdom and help her process this difficult experience, but how? It was time for me to intervene and I knew first step was to embark on a conversation that would lead toward her healing.

As I started up stairs to her room, my heart was in my throat and my thoughts overwhelming. “What would I say to her?“ What do I know about grief? I don’t have much experience with loss either. What if I burst into tears myself from feeling pain my child is in?

As I rounded corner and headed down hall to her room I heard a voice from deep inside say, “trust your instincts, you’ll know what to say”. It stopped me dead in my tracks. “Trust my instincts”? Help! What does that mean?

In what felt like a lifetime, but was actually sixty seconds, I started to connect with my instincts.

Instincts are what urge us to respond, they are a powerful motivation or impulse. In this case my maternal need to comfort my child. Instincts are also innate capability or aptitude we have to fulfill a task at hand, my being a good mother.