Trick Or Treat - Is This Make-Believe Or The Real Thing?Written by Toni Coleman, LCSW
"I'll call you this week". "Yes, I'd love to see you again". "I had a great time". "I'm not interested in dating anyone else". "I think I'm falling in love with you." These are a few of phrases passed between singles as they move through stages of meeting and dating. At time, they are uttered with what feels like true emotion and honesty. No wonder person they are directed to is so confused when call never comes, person becomes unavailable, or it soon becomes evident that speaker is dating or deeply involved with someone else. Can we ever believe what we see or hear? How can we be sure? Dating is a process of getting to know someone. It begins with an attraction, which is formed by that first impression. Often, this first meeting occurs by chance at a social gathering, at work or in course of one's daily life. More and more, it happens through a response to a personal ad and emailing and phone calls that follow. Both in-person and email or voice contact give us a sense of other individual- but this is only a brief snapshot of who they may be. It takes real time together to create a larger and clearer picture of this other person and their rightness or wrongness for us. During this time we assess for friendship, attraction, shared interests and values, and a willingness and ability on part of both individuals to move forward in a relationship. Given that this is a process, it has stages. A first date helps couple to learn more. It is a fact-finding experience, which involves not only information other provides, but our feelings and reactions to it and to them as a potential partner. We show our best selves and attempt to make an appropriate connection with someone we find desirable. In best scenario, everything clicks for both people and conversation is natural and easy. More often, there may be questions, doubts, and/or mixed feelings. Seeing each other again is often suggested by one or both people and is a good way to learn more about each other and resolve any questions. But doubts and negative feelings go unstated in a desire to either give other person a chance or to let them down easily. It's also an easy way out for someone who is uncomfortable with this level of emotional honesty.
| | Living in Spain - Common questionsWritten by Jamie Mills
What will winter weather be like on Costa del Sol ? Much warmer than Northern Europe. Many resident’s don’t even have central heating in their home. The Costa del Sol enjoys more than 300 days of sunshine per annum, and winter temperatures rarely go below 16ºc in day.Is it possible to live in Spain without speaking Spanish? If you are not planning to work with Spaniards, speaking language is not necessary. However you will find learning words essential to enjoying Andalucian life, quite easy. Mastering language will enable you to enjoy lifestyle on offer to its peak. Most establishments on Costa del Sol do speak English. Will coast become overcrowded from excess construction? Strict controls on building and careful town planning are now prohibiting over-construction and high-rise developments. Trees and parks abound, and beaches are kept clean and free from over-commercialisation. Ringed to north by scenic mountains, Marbella forms an undulating horseshoe of picturesque, village-style developments, luxurious villas, pine forests and championship golf courses, all served by a modern road system and infrastructure. On beachside, sleek, marble-fronted, low-rise apartment complexes are in: high rise blocks are out. Will I have problems finding things to do ? No. Tennis clubs, health spas and every sporting facility imaginable are all there for your enjoyment, whether it be water skiing, windsurfing or trekking through mountains on horseback. Incredibly, Sierra Nevada ski resort is just two hours drive from Marbella, perched 12,000 feet (4,000 metres) in mountains above historic and romantic Granada. Can I bring my pets to Spain ? The Pet Travel Scheme(PETS), allows cats and dogs resident in UK to visit other countries and return to UK without quarantine, provided that certain conditions are met. To use this system you need to comply with law, to last detail. This is to prevent tranmission of disease from country to country. Will I be able to obtain most British products ? You will find most English products are available along coast, although some will be far easier to find than others. Newspapers are now printed in Spain, and are therefore very easy to obtain. Larger shops and supermarkets stock many British products to accommadate increase in tourists, although slight price increases should be expected. What about medical care? The Spanish National Health Service is available free to Senior Citizens from Britain (Ladies over 60 and men over 65). The service is excellent. However, as in UK, non-emergencies may be placed on a waiting list. Purchasers of businesses in Spain are obliged to join Spanish N.H.S. Payments for this service are included in their monthly Spanish National Insurance contribution. If you are under retirement age and do not intend to work in Spain, then it is a condition of Residence in Spain that you take out private medical health cover. Some of larger private medical health providers in UK offer schemes suitable for British residents in Spain. Alternatively, there are numerous Insurance Brokers in Spain offering a range of healthcare insurance policies.
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