By Ruth Anderson

If you made New Year's resolutions this year, you may be very aware of how difficult it is to stick with new goals. How can you keep your good intentions? Start by taking a good hard look at goals themselves, and then take effective, focused action to achieve them -- as outlined in following ten steps.

Step 1. Don't kid yourself: Choose goals that you truly care about.

To meet this criterion, they must (a) reflect something of great value to you and (b) have clear, direct benefits that you will actively appreciate. A goal that is a reluctant "should," rather than something you genuinely want and will appreciate often, is unlikely to be attractive enough to keep you going.

Step 2. Express your goals in a way that points to what you value and how you will benefit.

If you find yourself using general phrases preceded by "try to" or "ought to," you haven't yet zeroed in on what you want and why it is compelling.

Example 1: "I ought to go on a diet."

Much more inspiring: "I want to achieve a weight at which I feel healthy, comfortable, and attractive."

Example 2: "I'll try to be more efficient at work."

Much more inspiring: "I want to manage my time so that I can meet deadlines and avoid taking work home."

Step 3. Write a detailed description of how your life will be improved, and save it to re-read at those inevitable moments when you lose momentum.

In addition to a compelling statement of goal itself (see step 2), your description should include: a list of specific ways in which you will benefit, and a description of how you will feel when goal is achieved. Write to inspire, so that you can remind yourself of why this goal was important to you in first place.

Step 4. Take stock of what stands in your way.

If you are to devise an effective strategy for reaching your goal, you will need to understand lay of land – especially, what has gotten in way of reaching this goal up until now, and what might get in way in future. For example, does access to junk food in your kitchen sabotage your diet? Are interruptions at work reducing your efficiency there? You may even be putting up internal roadblocks to reaching your goal (see step 5)...

Step 5. Ask yourself how your thinking needs to shift for you to reach this goal.

If you are quite frank with yourself, are there actually reasons that you don't want to reach it? You may be surprised when you consider your answer: often we have a vested interest in preserving status quo. Change, after all, involves challenging or asserting ourselves in new ways – so be ready to upgrade how you see yourself and your capabilities.

Step 6. Identify three to five specific, measurable actions that will move you toward your goal.

More than this number is likely to become unrealistic and overwhelming (see step 7), and fewer may not be enough to keep you going. Far more important than number of actions, however, is how they are defined.

Example 1: I will achieve my target weight by a) exercising more, b) watching what I eat, and c) keeping junk food out of my house.

Laurie Weiss, Ph.D.

Many managers believe that treating their team members as responsible adults will assure excellent results. The truth is that while this usually is effective, some people need much firmer limits than others to perform their jobs.

When I give her a direction, she says she understands, but then she acts as if she can do just as she pleases. Ellen, manager of a rehabilitation hospital unit was discussing her frustration in supervising one of her social workers. Ellen would much rather help Angelique be successful at her job than to fire her, but things have not been going well.

Angelique has been on unit for a year and a half, but Ellen has only been supervising her directly for a few months. Ellen’s frustration began when she noticed social worker’s frequent absences.

She is on a salary, and has some flexibility, but she is expected to be here forty hours a week. She has been coming and going whenever she pleases. Despite my warnings she still refuses to consistently even tell me when she will be gone. When I placed a written reprimand in her file, she cried, and promised to do better, but she hasn’t.

I have even told her that she is inviting me to micro-manage her, but I am reluctant to cause her embarrassment of having to punch time clock, when none of other workers at her level do that.

As Ellen and I discussed situation, I learned that Ellen was already micro-managing Angelique. Whenever they had a supervision session, Ellen was taking extra pains to make certain that Angelique understood exactly what hours she was expected to be on unit. We both laughed at absurdity of helping someone with a Master’s degree to read a basic time schedule.

When we looked at how Angelique had invited Ellen’s micro-management, it was obvious that Angelique was acting like a child who had not learned to respect limits and boundaries. Ellen was being invited to act as her parent. Ellen kept reminding Angelique about work requirements, and when Angelique did not use this information Ellen was first surprised and then increasingly frustrated.

When Angelique’s response to discipline (being written up) was tears, Ellen felt an impulse to protect her and not cause her further embarrassment. Instead she tried to be understanding rather than critical. When that didn’t work either, Ellen asked for coaching.

It’s a Power Struggle