Here you are, facing
holiday season alone. Have you been thinking about?*how alone and lonely you feel
*excuses you can give family members as to why you can’t come this year
*what friends may be available to spend those long days with
*how another year has passed and you are (still) single
*how unfair it is that everyone else seems so happy and connected
*how you will handle office holiday party- single, take a friend, not attend
*going to a far away (tropical?) place to escape it all
*hiding out, alone, in your own home
If these thoughts sound familiar it is probably time to reflect on your feelings regarding this holiday season. If your goal is to hide out and endure it alone, you won’t need to do too much planning. However, if you wish to experience at least a measure of “peace and joy” associated with this time of year, you need to make and follow through with plans that allow you to participate in ways that are meaningful to YOU.
Remember, your senses are bombarded from October to December with music, images and Hallmark verses depicting “right” experiences and expressions for season. Remind yourself, every day if necessary, that there’s nothing wrong with being single. You have same need and right to enjoy this season as any couple or family does. How you choose to do this is up to you.
After you have done some serious reflection, consider following list of holiday tips designed especially for singles.
Don’t make plans out of a sense of obligation. This is also your holiday season. Set limits, make good choices and enjoy. You may ask yourself; “do I really want to go out”? If so, make your next question something like; “does it sound like something I would enjoy or be interested in?” Or, “will I have opportunity to meet and mix with other singles?”
Avoid unrealistic expectations from others, from yourself and from holidays themselves. Relax, enjoy and don’t expect so much that you will feel hurt or disappointed when things don’t turn out just as you had imagined. This will defeat all positive feelings and experiences that you may have already gained.
Make sure you give thanks for all blessings you do have in your life. Focusing on what you don’t have only encourages negative thoughts. Add a prayer of hope for things you would like to work for in coming year.
