Tips For Singles On Surviving (and enjoying) The HolidaysWritten by Toni Coleman, LCSW
Here you are, facing holiday season alone. Have you been thinking about?*how alone and lonely you feel *excuses you can give family members as to why you can’t come this year *what friends may be available to spend those long days with *how another year has passed and you are (still) single *how unfair it is that everyone else seems so happy and connected *how you will handle office holiday party- single, take a friend, not attend *going to a far away (tropical?) place to escape it all *hiding out, alone, in your own home If these thoughts sound familiar it is probably time to reflect on your feelings regarding this holiday season. If your goal is to hide out and endure it alone, you won’t need to do too much planning. However, if you wish to experience at least a measure of “peace and joy” associated with this time of year, you need to make and follow through with plans that allow you to participate in ways that are meaningful to YOU. Remember, your senses are bombarded from October to December with music, images and Hallmark verses depicting “right” experiences and expressions for season. Remind yourself, every day if necessary, that there’s nothing wrong with being single. You have same need and right to enjoy this season as any couple or family does. How you choose to do this is up to you. After you have done some serious reflection, consider following list of holiday tips designed especially for singles. Don’t make plans out of a sense of obligation. This is also your holiday season. Set limits, make good choices and enjoy. You may ask yourself; “do I really want to go out”? If so, make your next question something like; “does it sound like something I would enjoy or be interested in?” Or, “will I have opportunity to meet and mix with other singles?” Avoid unrealistic expectations from others, from yourself and from holidays themselves. Relax, enjoy and don’t expect so much that you will feel hurt or disappointed when things don’t turn out just as you had imagined. This will defeat all positive feelings and experiences that you may have already gained. Make sure you give thanks for all blessings you do have in your life. Focusing on what you don’t have only encourages negative thoughts. Add a prayer of hope for things you would like to work for in coming year.
| | How to Choose the Perfect Christmas Gift for HerWritten by Susan Dunn, MA Clinical Psychology, cEQc, The EQ Coach™
COULD YOU USE ONE LESS THING TO WORRY ABOUT?It’s that time of year again, time to choose Christmas gift for woman you love. Which one are you? Which Santa Claus is going to get cookies and milk and which one is going to sleep on couch? ·Fred’s apprehensive. The last several occasions Beth has ended up really angry with his gift choices, for reasons he doesn’t quite understand, but he’s a guy, he’ll figure it out. Fred should be apprehensive. He’s about to do same thing again, make same mistake, get same result, only, as you know, when it comes to your wife, it isn’t “same,” it gets worse. ·Arturo’s got it knocked. He’s enjoyed his new power lathe so much, he knows Maria will love getting a cuisinart, instead of having to chop things by hand. ·Vladimir has read "How to Choose Perfect Christmas Gift for Her," and has learned how to figure out what Katya really likes. Of course he could ask, but he likes to thrill her with nice surprises and he’s getting very good at it. The skills outlined in ePamphlet increased his skill in figuring out how to please woman he loves. When they’re being intimate, she’ll say to him sometimes, “How did you know that’s what I wanted?” ·Benny’s not worried at all. He’s sending his secretary out to do shopping for his wife. It’s a very smart and logical thing to do, he thinks. Anyway, he’s more worried about why he didn’t get promotion at work, and why his review said he needs to improve his “soft” skills, his Emotional Intelligence. ·Edward’s tired of trying to please and is in denial. He keeps saying he’ll go shopping and do it right this year, not do what he usually does – putting it off till last minute, then running out and grabbing something. She won’t like it anyway; she never does. Besides, it’s end of year, and he hasn’t made his insurance sales quota and he’s worn out worrying about what he ought to be doing in that area. He kept meaning to do it right this year, but here it is, November …
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