The Top 10 Ways To Take the Fear Out of RetiringWritten by Catherine L. Farrar
1.“What do you mean, you hate to travel?”Have you and your spouse actually sat down and discussed how each of you envisions retirement? If your dreams are completely opposite of your spouse’s, both of you are going to be disappointed. Honestly talk about them before you get gold watch. Be creative and open to compromise, so both of your dreams can come true. 2.“You mean, you’re here ALL time, now?” Spending all this quality time together may seem like a wonderful idea, but remember, you both have daily routines, some of which may have been 30 years in making. Also, you’re not used to spending 24 hours a day, 7 days a week in each other’s company. Experienced retirees say this is such a big adjustment, they’d recommend pre-retirement counseling along lines of marriage counseling! Recognize and respect needs both of you have for space, as well as each other’s routines. 3.Money matters, and so does peace of mind. If you haven’t already, consult with a financial advisor to discuss how to best manage your assets for long haul, as people are living longer and longer. Revisit your health and life insurance policies. Update or write your will, and consider a Living Will or Advanced Health Care Directive to help guide your loved ones through a difficult time. 4.Use it or lose it. It’s not just a cliché. Maintaining some level of regular physical exercise, whether it’s walking, gardening, or golf, can help improve balance, and retain flexibility. If you feel like you need an ejector seat in your Lazy-Boy, start small, but start, before you solidify! 5.Where did I put my keys? What’s good for body is good for mind. Studies have shown that working your mind is key to staying mentally sharp. Experts recommend a daily crossword puzzle, or a game of Scrabble® along with your vitamins and apple a day. 6.Set limits. “Oh, Mom can do that; she’s retired.” Your time doesn’t become less valuable once you retire – although others may seem to think so. There’s nothing wrong with helping out, so long as you’re not ignoring yourself. Remember to respect your own time and plans; and soon others will, too.
| | What’s Making You So Tired?Written by Susan Dunn, MA Psychology, Professional Coach
Mary was always exhausted. Despite working out, eating well, taking supplements, and even having therapy, there was something dragging her down she couldn’t figure out. When I first talked to her, she described a good job, a supportive spouse, a good set of friends, and some interesting hobbies. She had even just returned from a vacation, but fact it hadn’t refreshed her caused her to call for coaching. She wanted to brainstorm on what was going on and what she could do differently. “What did you think about when you were on vacation?” I asked her. It seemed a good place to start. “What I should’ve done before I left home,” she replied, and went on to describe a long list of things that had piled up at home – a garage that needed cleaning, a lawn that had been neglected, files at work and at home that hadn’t been taken care of, and a whole backlog of things that needed attending to. “I thought a vacation was what I needed,” she said, “you know to get some rest. But it didn’t work.” Mary’s on to something there. Sometimes you’ll gain more energy by expending it to take care of what you need to! Yes, our lifestyles are busy today, but, assuming you’re taking care of your physical health, sleeping 8 hours, eating right, taking supplements and working out, there’s a source of stress you may have been overlooking. There’s nothing so fatiguing as something you’re supposed to have done and haven’t done. In other words, those chores and tasks on to-do list. This can be one large thing, or a number of small things. In fact size of task doesn’t matter; they all create about same amount of fatigue in your brain. When you have something nagging at you like this, it’s a continual drain of energy. Why? Because it tugs at our emotions. You’re reminded you need to do task and immediately feel guilty, lazy, angry at yourself, or any number of other negatives thoughts about yourself. These are energy-draining in short-term and detrimental in long-term. What do you do? You start making excuses – to yourself and to others. “I didn’t have time,” or “I had to do XX first.” If someone else is dependent on task, or wants you to do it, you can turn and focus your anger and frustration on them, and this adds more negativity to mix. At same time other people involved can become frustrated and angry with you. This sets up a force field of nagging, complaining, demanding, and other unpleasant emotions.
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