The Sound of His LaughterWritten by Skye Thomas
When you're searching for your Mr. Right, I want you to pay close attention to his laugh. It may seem odd for me to say that, but you can tell a lot about a man by his laugh. Real laughter is uncontrollable. For just a moment something strikes us as funny and sound of laughter pours forth spontaneously and without any real control on our part. It bubbles up and gives away secret part of us that thinks event or situation presented is funny. Laughter can be faked, but that's part of what I want you to analyze when you're listening to his laughter.First of all is his laughter real or fake? You can always tell when someone has one of those completely goofy laughs that nobody in their right mind would choose to have -- those silly sounding laughs that cause everyone else to laugh too. You've also heard those completely fake laughs that sound like a bad actor in a Dudley DoRight play! Most people have fairly normal sounding laughs and they are spontaneous. If guy you're interested in fakes his laugh occasionally to laugh at a small child's attempt to tell a joke, that's okay. But, if he fakes his laugh on a regular basis, I would seriously question his overall ability to present his authentic self to world. You may or may not feel like analyzing why he's faking it, but it's important to note if he's presenting a false joviality to world on a regular basis. Does he laugh easily? I've met a few men who had serious anger and violence issues. They don't laugh easily. Also, guys going through depression and other darker emotions obviously aren't going to laugh as easily as someone who's naturally happy and at peace with his life. The brooding silent type may seem sexy for awhile, but in long run, you're going to want to have some lightness and fun in your life too. It gets to be a real bore to hang out with someone who's always incredibly serious and entertaining darker thoughts. Does he laugh at people or with people? Nobody likes to be made fun of, but this has more to do with what your man finds as funny. Does he find humor in ridiculing others? Does he laugh at others because everyone is incredibly foolish or stupid in his eyes? Is he constantly critiquing people looking for a reason to laugh at them? It doesn't matter how witty or funny his presentation, it's not a good sign if your man takes his personal pleasure in laughing at others. You also don't want someone who constantly makes himself butt of all jokes either. I've always found an underlying self esteem issue when people spend a lot of time making fun of themselves. That's not same as being able to laugh at ones mistakes on occasion. I'm talking about habitually devaluing one's self. Also, is he able to find joy in someone else's jokes? You don't want someone who only laughs at his own jokes and nobody else's.
| | Black professional, educated, and self-reliant woman - why am I still single?Written by C.F. Jackson
Won’t Be Denied: a suspense novel -- a portrait of an obsessed, single African American female.Atlanta, GA, October 13, 2004: Today there are many single women over age of thirty. The 2000 Census Bureau recorded that 2,219,489 women between ages of 30 and 34 have never married. The vast majority of single black women make up 60 percent of all unmarried women. By age of 30, a mere 45 percent of black women have married, compared to 80 percent of white women. Such disproportionate statistics have led to many hypotheses as to why large proportions of African American female population are single. Social psychologist and author of “Black and Single”, Larry Davis explains “black romantic market” in article, “The State of Our Union: Black Love and Marriage, 2004”, on Africana.com. Davis believes that social factors such as black male imprisonment and interracial relationships leave black women outnumbering black men 2 to 1. Within same article, therapist and radio personality Audrey B. Chapman disputes Mr. Davis’ figures. It is her belief that proportions are closer to 4 to1 or 6 to 1. “I figured that as I made more money and got education that’s required to get a good job, that that would automatically make it easier for me to find someone,” said Lana Coleman, a Pasadena Calif., attorney, in 2003 Newsweek article, “Black Gender Gap”. “But it’s really been opposite.” Ms. Coleman’s sentiments are reflective of other self-reliant and professional black women.
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