THE OTHER SIDE OF EASY Initial Responses To Difficult Days © Lee Wise 2003 All rights reserved

NO WARNING SIGNS AHEAD...

They often come unannounced.

No warning. No time to prepare.

Our normal, everyday world is invaded by an intruder we didn't seek, don't want to know, and will soon wish we had never met.

These unwelcome "guests" break into our lives in a variety of ways. One may choose to enter through door of our family physician's office with an unanticipated diagnosis.

Another intruder may trespass our personal space by means of a phone call about a family member or close friend.

While these "guests" may introduce themselves to us in any number of ways, what they lead us to is always same.

They lead us to *difficult times.* Times I have come to label as...

"The other side of easy."

I'm no expert in dealing with tragedy -- believe me. I have, however, made some observations about how myself and others have tried to cope in early days when tragedy strikes.

I will list a few of these observations for you below. I wrote them down within a few weeks after my wife received a phone from our daughter while we were driving home from a short trip we had taken for day. Her call began with: "Mom, are you driving? If you are, maybe you had better pull over."

Our own "special guest" had come to pay us a visit.

My observations are...

WE DO WHAT WE NEED TO DO FIRST

*Immediate needs take front row seats in our world. *Needs of all kinds can -- and should -- dictate what what we do. People needs receive highest priority. "Is everyone okay?" "What can I do to help?" "Do you need anything?"

*Schedules are readjusted. Day by day phone calls may not be made. Trips may need to be planned. WE LOOK FOR WHATEVER IS GOOD, POSITIVE AND VALUABLE IN THE WORLD

Tragedy is ugly. People are hurting. Physical and emotional "staying powers" are stretched to limits.

But in midst of it all, it is good to realize that...

*There are good people in world *There is "good" in world

It is helpful to acknowledge and appreciate both: good people and "the good." My tragedy doesn't negate what is true. Rather, it seems to be helpful to affirm these truths.

WE EXPECT NOTHING LESS THAN REALITY FROM OURSELVES

We expect high moments. Moments when we are functioning pretty well. We are coping.

But then again, we also expect low moments. Moments of discouragement, perplexity or fear.

LEADING OTHERS Helping People Become All They Can Be © Lee Wise 2003 All rights reserved

I have spent a good part of my life striving to encourage people. It seems as though I've always wanted to help people "win."

When I was in high school, I coached a swim team during summer months. I loved coaching...

Seeing kids improve. Helping them "win." Having fun with them. Being their friend.

One of greatest joys of my life has been "coaching" my children. I love being a dad... Watching "the kids" grow in any area of their lives. Helping them "win" at anything! Having fun with them. Loving them. Being their friend.

I have spent many -- if not most -- of my years in ministry in some sort of training capacity. I have loved... Helping people succeed. Encouraging people when I could. Inspiring people at times. Assisting them in becoming all they can be.

WHICH IS A LONG INTRODUCTION TO GET TO THIS POINT

In my own way, I have tried to encourage people. I have sought to influence them -- to help them do what *they* have wanted to do.

Maybe that's why I kinda favor, , this short quote of mine about what it means to "lead others."

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* LEADING OTHERS ©Lee Wise 2003

"Helping people become all they can be through your influence"

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

HELPING PEOPLE BECOME ALL THEY CAN BE

I was interacting with a student other day. We were working together in an effort to establish a set of goals he wanted to accomplish for his present ministry.

After I was done communicating with this person, I realized I was following a pattern: a pattern I have gone through over years as I've tried to help people. I'm not saying I'm "cat's meow" on this subject. Far from it!

What I am saying is that maybe this simple process will assist *you* as you strive to help people become all they can be through *your* influence.

Here are steps in process:

1. Listen to people 2. Strive to capture desire of their hearts 3. Chart "action steps" together 4. Prompt them to strive towards excellence 5. Release-Guide-Release

Since you already know where I'm heading on most of these points, I'll be brief.

LISTEN TO PEOPLE

Back to my "pattern." I realized that my pattern was to listen.

That's right --> listen.

Much of my interaction with people has been trying to discover "where they are at."

What they mean by things. Allowing them to express themselves. Pausing. Asking questions to clarify.

Just listening.

Because if I listen closely I can...

"CAPTURE" THE HEART OF A PERSON

I help interns create goals for their ministry projects. It is a part of my role as their coordinator.

In process of helping them create their ministries, I have often said...

"Does this express your heart's desire?" "Forget school work. Forget this project. Just tell me this: what is your heart-beat in this?"

If I can "capture their heart" in process of writing their goals, it will give them staying power. It will help stay them motivated.

I love it!

Which leads me to next point...

CHART A COURSE OF ACTION