Ever notice how
first ten paragraphs of every sales pitch you read online are same?Ever notice how first two pages of most ebooks or info reports you get are same?
If you think about it, I'm certain you can tell me exactly what it is they all go over, can't you?
Of course you can. What is it they ALL talk about?
All together now...
"The DREAM of Making It BIG!!!"
They begin with compassionate approach about how frustrating it is to know 'BIG' marketers are all getting rich and you are not. Then, they describe to you details of "The DREAM of Making It BIG!!!". You know, more money, more power, influence, time and freedom. Then, they close with how what they have to offer will get you 'over hump' and well on your way to realizing your dream.
Ok fine, compassion bit is aimed at making a connection with you. That's good, we've discussed how that is important before. The closing where they offer to speed you on your way toward realizing your goals is fine, too. If they have a good product and believe it will help people then fine, say as much.
But...
Why do we have to go over details of "The DREAM of Making It BIG!!!" every stinking time?
What, you don't think I KNOW why it is I'm here to begin with? You don't think I have that dream right there in front of my mind at all times?
Why in 'h-e-double Eiffel Tower toothpicks' do you think I'm sitting at my computer at two in morning reading your stupid ebook in first place?!
Why do we have to spend all that time at start of every sales letter and every ebook going over details of "The DREAM of Making It BIG!!!" again and again and again?
Can't we just skip obvious and get to point? Can't we just get to heart of what you are offering or what it is you are trying to teach me?
Why indulge in all that fluff? Get to meat! Just think of how many electronic trees you could save if you didn't use so many electronic pages!
Unless, wait, is this a contest or something? It's that why everyone spends so much time laying out their version of "The DREAM of Making It BIG!!!"? Is it just a contest to see who can drum up best description of The DREAM? To see who can best describe ultimate in Internet marketing success?
Well, in that case, move over GURUs! Move over you piddley little haphazard metaphor for financial freedom writing fools!
The MAN is here.
Feast your eyes, my friends, on "The TRUE, Ultimate DREAM of Making It BIG!!!" I mean after all, I am BEST writer (of my own articles) Internet has ever seen!
Stand back ye flies! Let true exponentially exciting, yet not necessarily true, DREAM writing begin!
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Frustrated, are you?
Do you lay awake at night, restless, because you have not yet discovered secret for driving hordes of herds of countless of maniacally insane amounts of credit card waving traffic to your web site?
Do you long to know secrets of Internet GURUs who have already taken $250 out of your bank account so you can take $25000 out of each of their accounts as a bribe for not giving those secrets away to others?
Well, then, I know exactly how you feel because I, too, felt that frustration just this last week. That is before I discovered secrets of GURUs written on lid of a jar of orange marmalade I got out of my granny's cellar.
But now! Because I'm such a nice, young, rich, handsome, well put together, did I mention rich, generous man who desires MORE influence, MORE power, MORE women who want to feed me grapes, an unspeakably large lawn filled with malicious Dobermans, and a second private jet just in case my wife feels like eating dinner in a different country than I do... I am going to GIVE you those secrets!
