Take Care of Yourself and Be Your Own ExpertWritten by David Roddis
We give up paying attention to practical needs of our body, mind and spirit because we think it’s all too difficult and complicated. And in some ways it is, because that’s way it’s presented to us.After all, who are we to second-guess all those scientists and experts with all those letters after their names? Every day there’s a new report, a new article, a new fad; something else we have to factor in that’s bad for us, good for us, or on undecided list. So we give up, go on same way, and try to muddle through. We treat ourselves same way we treat planet – as though we’re inexhaustible sources of energy – and hope for best. If we lose our way and become passive about taking care of ourselves, simply accepting what’s offered, we give up responsibility for our well-being. Recognize any of these? -You’re tired, stressed, undernourished and over stimulated. You run on empty. You stay up late watching TV, or over-working, and never get enough sleep. Sometimes you doze off for a second or two at office. Or once while driving – now THAT terrified you. You can’t remember last time you woke up refreshed. You’re sick and tired of being sick and tired. -You take no time to rest and recuperate. It’s been weeks, or even months, since you took a vacation – or a day off. A day! That’s a laugh. How about an afternoon? You used to love reading, or listening to music, or playing baseball with your kids. Now all you do is work, work, work. Too bad it’s a job you just kind of ended up doing. What happened to what YOU wanted for your life? -Lunch is basically an object you shove into your face while working at your desk. When you’re finished, your stomach hurts, but you ignore it. You overeat, then go on crash diets. This week it’s carbs, last week it was fat. Next week? Who knows, who cares. You’re hopeful for a few days, then you feel deprived. Back to square one. -You medicate yourself with drugs, downers and stimulants. You smoke cigarettes. You indulge in too much coffee, alcohol, soft drinks. By noon, you’re bouncing off walls. If you have to walk upstairs, you’re out of breath. And you wonder why you fly off handle when there’s a crisis? -You drive everywhere, and think of exercise exclusively in terms of a special activity that you schedule for intense periods, like going to a gym or joining a weight-lifting club – so, of course, you never go, you never join, you never do anything.
| | Set Strong Boundaries and Live in ConfidenceWritten by David Roddis
Spoken or unspoken, we all have physical boundaries and emotional boundaries. Have you ever made known a preference for working in your office alone or asking someone not to touch you? By every action we take, in every life situation, we're either demonstrating strong boundaries or weak ones; and weak ones always create potential for stress, conflict and drama.There are two types of boundaries: immediate and lasting. Immediate boundaries are those you set in real time, as a direct response to an annoying or disturbing situation. You set these immediate boundaries in moment by taking any of these four responsible actions: 1.Speaking up 2.Making a direct request 3.Moving out of way 4.Keeping silent As you become more aware, you’ll start to let go of small stuff and, at same time, begin to discover your limits of what you’ll accept. This process is almost like re-calibrating an electronic instrument. Imagine a faulty heat detector that rings alarm almost all time! What you’re doing now is, in effect, learning to re-set your response range. However, immediate boundaries are, in final sense, “better late than never” actions. Lasting boundaries, on other hand, are so strong they automatically prevent distressing situations coming into your life. The only way to develop boundaries this strong is by becoming extremely boundary-aware, and by taking responsible actions (listed above). The strongest, cleanest boundaries have no emotional charge. This analogy may help you understand what we mean: If you were a non- or ex-smoker, and someone at a party innocently offered you a cigarette, would you get angry and storm out? Would you yell, or become upset and tearful? Of course not. You’d just say, “No thanks, I don’t smoke.” In same way, when you have clear boundaries, you’ll “decline invitation” to drama, conflict and other toxic situations, but without reacting to it. The situation will simply hold no interest for you.
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