If you’re stretched to limit and have no reserves of energy and health, you are less able to cope with natural stresses of your day. You lose your sense of perspective and mental balance.

When you actively and sensibly take care of your mind, body and spirit, you come from a perspective of 100% full responsibility for your life. When you begin to take care of yourself, your life will be full of more energy, improved strength; you’ll be closer to your ideal weight. You’ll have improved confidence, self-respect and other-respect. You’ll sleep better; have less stress, guilt and worry.

And remember, you don’t need to make drastic, sudden – dramatic – lifestyle changes. Small ones that you can cope with are perfect. You make these small changes by using common sense to figure out what your body, mind and spirit need. You listen to yourself.

Once again, becoming aware of your real limits will bring you this kind of certainty, calm and focus. If you need to respond at all, you’ll respond with less angry charge. The situations will flow away from you.

The term “boundaries” sometimes sounds kind of strict or harsh, particularly if you’re chronically nice. The whole concept of strong boundaries may conjure an image of cold, distant people tip-toeing around each other in a state of fear and distrust.

In fact, opposite is true.

If there are no limits to what people can do to you, and no limits to what you can do to them, you will feel constantly under attack (or will constantly be attacking others). And if you’re too nice to say ‘no,’ you will feel constant resentment, blame and confusion. Without strong boundaries, you’ll always be vaguely on your guard, ready to lash out.

Setting strong boundaries actually makes it easier, not harder, to get close to people. That’s because boundaries tell other people what’s acceptable for us and what isn’t. They create an atmosphere of honesty and openness. They allow us to be authentically ourselves. And they create a sense of mutual respect.

When you’re angry or annoyed, you’ve already tolerated too much. A boundary needs strengthening, now. Take one of four responsible actions (Speak up, Make a direct request, Move out of way or Keep silent).

When you set strong boundaries, your life will begin to look like this:

-The people in your life who bring you down start to leave -Instead of cursing crowds, you cross street -You speak up when people show disrespect -You ask for what you want up-front -You can truly “let it go, Joe.”