THE MERITS OF MISCHIEVOUS MIND-CANDY

-- Or, how to improve one's vapid vocabulary --

In fast-food, fast-track, and fast-lane of life, there’s precious little time for words any more which is bad news for slow-of-mind folk (like me).

I have no “to-do” list and I don’t own a “Blackberry”. Furthermore, I have no need for “power naps” and I don't do “power lunches” (unless I'm wearing my tiara, holding my sceptre and handing out titles to members of realm who probably don't need them).

Alright, I must confess I do own a cell phone. But, I don’t know how to program blessed thing with all my favorite telephone buddies. And, what makes matter worse, I haven’t got a clue about hottest dating device known (to men and women naturally) -- text-messaging.

So, how does one go about choosing mischievous mind candy (you know, sweet, sticky stuff that tickles imagination and adds a few more calories and carbohydrates to one's already hyperactive cerebellum)?

Well, take a word like “slob” for instance. It’s a short, four-letter word that covers a multitude of sins, (also a four-letter word that leaves drawbridge down and door wide open for interpretation).

GUNG HAY FAT CHOY!

-- GET OUT AND CELEBRATE "THE YEAR OF THE ROOSTER" 2005 --

On February 9th, people all over place will be ringing in another Asian Lunar New Year – THE YEAR OF THE ROOSTER!

It’s time to dance with Dragons, bang on drums, light those fancy firecrackers (left over from Halloween), crack open fortune cookies, and let’s have a bash – ‘cause "Rooster’s" back in town!

For those of you who haven’t got a clue what’s going on, party animals are out in full force. This year, “Rooster” rules roost! And, that means anyone born in 1921, 1933, 1945, 1957, 1969, 1981, 1993 and of course, newborn "Roosters" of 2005.

Yo there Chinese astrology fans, if you recall, “Rooster” is third from end of 12-year Chinese Zodiac cycle of crazy critters including first Rat, then Ox, Tiger, Rabbit, Dragon, Snake, Horse, Sheep, Monkey, (Rooster -- sometimes called Bird or Cock) followed by, Dog and Boar.

Actually “Roosters” are easy to spot. They’re perky, plucky, punctual creatures who don’t need alarm clocks or wake-up calls from front-desk hotel clerk. These conventional critters have also been known to cut a mean tango, twist, or two-step on dance floor at weddings, retirements and wakes.

Besides preening their feathers and admiring themselves way too long in mirror every day, "Roosters" (as are "chicks") flashy dressers. So, keep your eyes peeled for anyone wearing spiked heels, black fishnet stockings, sparkly mini skirt and matching halter-top with maximum cleavage. And, watch out for a buns-of-steel stud with a colorful rooster tattoo on his right bicep, wearing nothing but a shoe-string thong or skimpy loincloth. No, it's not a figment of your vivid imagination ...it's just a "Chick" and a "Rooster" doing what comes naturally!!

For those interested in more far-flung fowl facts, take a wee peek below.

In meantime, suffice to say that all those “lady” birds earn their keep by laying oodles of eggs for Farmer Brown. (Lord knows why these "lucky ladies" get a bad rap as “hen-peckers”; no doubt Farmer Brown had something to do with it). On other hand, clucking “cocks”, (who spend most of their time fluffing up their feathers or sidling up to hens offering them best bugs and worms in barnyard), usually end up as “roasters” -- on supermarket shelf or in a KFC bucket!