Written by Victoria Elizabeth

Continued from page 1

So how to bring a spark of interest back to a noun like “slob”? (Note: "Slob" should not be confused with another four-letter word, “slog” as inrepparttar verb 'to toil' like witches do, 'to labour' as rock stars do, or 'to work' like a dog …likerepparttar 118092 rest of us do.)

The answer lies perhaps in tossingrepparttar 118093 tasteless term intorepparttar 118094 trashcan, (now stop snivelling's just for one day). Why not take another word out for for a test drive? After all, you've got lots to choose from.

In case there's no handy-dandy dictionary nearby, here's a luscious list of light-hearted love handles to use (besides "pig" or "hog" instead of "slob" to describe your boss, best friend, or long-lost relative Aunt “P”).

-- Abbey-lubber, Afterling, -- Bawdstrot, Blob-Tale, -- Daggle-Tail, Draggletail, Dustman, Drassock, Drossell, -- Fleak, Fonkin, Fopdoodle, -- Hoddypeak, -- Looby, -- Mudlark, Mumper, -- Porknell, -- Ragamuffin,Runcy -- Srubbado, Slattern, Sloven, Slop, Snollygoster, -- Tatterdemalion, Tosspot, -- Walking Mort, Wallydraigle, Wallower, Whiffling, Whipperginnie, -- (and last but not least one of my favorite's),repparttar 118095 Yammering Yokel

Remember, mind-candy doesn’t come with any money-back guarantees – so you might want to use your new-fangled words with care, so as to avoid becoming addicted to them or being bopped overrepparttar 118096 head by someone with a bigger bumbershoot or a better dictionary than you!

Victoria Elizabeth, is a lady of leisure and lollygagging who enjoys playing with words in between doing serious stuff like performing her ripsnorting royal duties as "The Quipping Queen" at


Written by Victoria Elizabeth

Continued from page 1

When it comes to choosing lovely libertines or life-time companions, "Roosters" are a rather discerning lot. Not any creature will do thank you. Just keep those fowl-challenged folk (likerepparttar rambuctious, twitchy-nosed "Rabbit") well away from those ripsnorting Red "Roosters" -- pleeease!!

The best mates for "Roosters" are "Snakes". Just avoid talking about Adam and Eve, orrepparttar 118091 snake inrepparttar 118092 Garden of Eden apple; it spoilsrepparttar 118093 Rooster's appetite. And whatever you do, make sure you don't introduce any snake oil sales associates, snake charmers, and snakes inrepparttar 118094 grass ... or there will be hell to pay! If you don't know any venomless serpents, try "Oxes". Every "Rooster" needs to find a beautiful if not brave beast of burden willing to plod along affectionately, and not to complain too loudly about having to share a load of smelly organic material fromrepparttar 118095 barnyard of life.

And as a final note, in order to keep your rooster happy, just follow these three things:

1. Let them be Cock ofrepparttar 118096 Walk/Wok for one day. (Heck, that’srepparttar 118097 least you can do; after all, they know how to keep time, dorepparttar 118098 runway thing, and cook stir fried meals for guests -- you don’t)!

2. Listen to their cock and bull stories. (They desperately need an appreciative audience and besides, you don’t really mind being entertained by a Big Bad Rooster do you!)

3. Warmrepparttar 118099 cockles of their hearts like there’s no tomorrow; you’ll have a fabulous feng-shui friend to play with for at leastrepparttar 118100 next 365 days, or possibly a lifetime and beyond -- provided you blow sweet nothings softly in his/her ear. (And don’t forget, this advice also works well on February 14th, "Valentine’s Day", another occasion to try out allrepparttar 118101 really neat adult toys, chocolate candy kisses, and little red hearts.)

Mayrepparttar 118102 Feng-Shui Force Be With You This Year, and before I forget ...



Victoria Elizabeth, contributes her pithy poppycock to anyone who will listen -- especially her loyal, long-suffering subjects over in the Court of the Quipping Queen at

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