Successful Change for A ChangeWritten by Brenda Smith
Successful Change for A ChangeChange is easy...Transitions are hard. Think of how many times you've tried to make a change and how many times you've been successful...So often, resistance turns us back to our old ways. This time, even though it might be a bit uncomfortable or unfamiliar, welcome resistance as feedback, telling you that you're changing status quo--Here are three steps to successful change: STEP ONE -- Starting something new is not first step. It's third. Before we can begin something, we must lose something--that is, we need to first stop and let go of what no longer works. This may be most difficult part of change process because it is uncomfortable to feel loss of something familiar. Self-management and facing regret is probably most critical step in making change work. Ask yourself, "What is it you're holding on to that won't allow you to move forward?" STEP 2-- Be prepared because you have entered a naked wasteland where you are no longer what you were, and not yet what you will be. You have stepped into unknown (for a brief time) and there may be some feelings of inadequacy while you build new skill. The greatest challenge at this point is to manage negative self-talk--a tendency we all have to be self-critical and judgmental--and replace negative with positives. Here, you'll want to ask "What can I do to cope with short term discomfort of this uncertainty?"
| | Enhancing your Self-EsteemWritten by Alina Ruigrok - www.love-sessions.com
Your self-esteem plays biggest role in your life and influences your thoughts, ideas and decisions. You hear time and time again about how important having a high self-esteem is, yet most of us tend to find ways to lower it and keep it as low as it can possibly get. The reason behind this behavior is simply that you do not give yourself credit you deserve and have not made yourself a true friend to your being. In getting to know and love yourself, you will then determine whether or not you are stable enough to enter in a relationship. In order to become one with someone, you need to be whole on your own. Let us begin with your physical being first, since that is what society looks at most. How do you feel about your physical appearance? Most likely, you will first point out things you do not like about yourself. Well, you are not alone. Almost everyone automatically puts himself or herself down first when looking in mirror. Have you ever stopped and observed things you do like about your physical self? You probably have not. It is time to start doing that. The next time you look at yourself, find physical qualities you like and accept in your being. Why are we so hard on ourselves? Well, truth is, we were not born with attitude of putting our selves down. We adapted and taught ourselves to do so when we watched what being perfect meant in eyes of others. We are constantly being flaunted with people who are thin, big on top, muscular, small waists and long legs on television and other advertisements, that we got convinced into believing that we must look a certain way in order to be admired, accepted and perfect in society. Remember, beauty and perfection is in eye of beholder and you should be that first beholder. When you look at yourself in a mirror, all you see is outside, but who is that person looking back at you? What does that person like and dislike? What goals does that person have? What are his or her hobbies? How could another being get to know you, if you do not even know yourself? What do you have to offer? Nothing if you lack knowledge and information of who you are! This is why going through a self-check is important. You must dig deeper than your physical existence in order to realize your true self. Enter your mind and soul and find out what really makes you person you are. If you have nothing to offer as far as your being is concerned, how can you have a relationship? You cannot! Not all negatives thoughts are bad. Sometimes, occasional negatives thoughts help us open doors for improvements in our lives, which is wonderful. It is always important to remember not to give those negative thoughts more focus though. Pay most attention to positive things about yourself and about good things that are going on in your life.
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