Success at Work : People Skills : Complaining

By Stephen Bucaro

Do you know an individual at work who is a chronic complainer? Are YOU a chronic complainer? People don't like complainers. Listening to a chronic complainer gets people depressed. They prefer to associate with people that make them feel good. If you are always complaining about something, people will start to ignore you.

If you're a chronic complainer, you're sabotaging yourself and your success at work. In this article, I explain how you can improve your outlook at work and improve your prospects for success. The first thing you need to do is get in touch with reality.

People are not perfect and you shouldn't expect them to be. An organization is a group of people, so no company or organization can be perfect. If you expect your organization to be perfect, you need to change your expectations.

Instead of expecting things to be perfect, expect everything to be totally screwed up at all times. Then on rare occasion when something does go right, you will be pleasantly surprised.

There are many problems that you can't do anything about. Learn to work around things you can't change. Some things you can change. Instead of whining and complaining, take responsibility for a problem you can solve. Don't try to change world, focus on improving your own little corner of company.

You might realize that there are many problems you might be able to solve. Don't try to solve all problems at once. Prioritize things that you view as problems and choose your battles. Attack most important problem first.

When you complain, limit your complaint to one problem and be specific. Along with your complaint, suggest a realistic solution. If you can't think of a realistic solution to problem, then how do you expect someone else to solve problem?

At times, we may immediately feel urge to say no, but instead lose our courage, and concede yet again. The question is why? Is it because:

* You fear you won’t be liked or feel a strong need to please everyone * You have to always keep calendar full so you feel needed and important * You undervalue need for down time and forget simply not wanting to do anything is a legitimate reason to say no * You would rather not deal with consequences of saying no and all feelings that come with it.

Setting boundaries and saying no is taking personal responsibility for your well-being. This requires you to clearly speak up, and specifically ask for what you want. Your decision to say no to requests from family, friends, and co-workers doesn’t have to be filled with feelings of uneasiness and guilt. It fact, it’s important you remember decision to say no is strictly a personal choice – yours!

Whether at work, with family, or friends, you can say no with diplomacy, tact, and respect. Here some ways you can embrace your personal power and assert your right to say no.