Subtle Addictions

Written by Dr. Margaret Paul


The following article is offered for free use in your ezine, print publication or on your web site, so long asrepparttar author resource box atrepparttar 130877 end is included. Notification of publication would be appreciated.

Title: Subtle Addictions Author: Margaret Paul, Ph.D. E-mail: mailto:margaret@innerbonding.com Copyright: © 2003 by Margaret Paul Web Address: http://www.innerbonding.com Word Count: 642 Category: Personal Growth, Addictions

SUBTLE ADDICTIONS By Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

Many people are aware ofrepparttar 130878 fact that addictions are used to avoid pain, and most of us are aware ofrepparttar 130879 common addictions: food, alcohol, drugs, gambling, TV, spending, work, sex, rage and so on. Most people, however, are not aware ofrepparttar 130880 more subtle addictions,repparttar 130881 addictions that are often so covert and pervasive that they are as invisible to us asrepparttar 130882 air we breathe. Yet these addictions may be impacting us negatively as much asrepparttar 130883 more overt addictions.

Take Sam, for example. Sam isrepparttar 130884 kind of person who ends up doing everything, both at home and at work. Sam works much harder in his retail business than either of his two partners, and often feels overwhelmed byrepparttar 130885 amount of work he has to do. On weekends, he ends up doing a lot of work aroundrepparttar 130886 house, even though he has two strong teenagers who could be helping out. Even when others offer to help, Sam turns them down. Sam is devoted to being a "nice guy" and caretaking others - doing for others what they need to be doing for themselves. On a deeper level, he is always trying to control how others’ perceive him. He wants them to see him as a caring person and often feel victimized when others do not give himrepparttar 130887 approval he seeks. Then, when others react to his attempts to control how they feel about him with irritation or withdrawal, Sam is angry that they are not approving of him. When he is really upset, he will get drunk. He will often obsessively ruminate about how unjust his wife is or his partners are. If his wife wants to explore their problems, Sam goes into defending, explaining and resisting, stating that she is just trying to control him. When nothing else works, Sam will withdraw.

Your Success Formula

Written by Maret McCoy, Executive Coach


Have you ever made great progress with your goals but then found yourself losing focus and getting side-tracked? Do you ever achieve significant gains but then get distracted and “fall offrepparttar wagon,” so to speak? As we all know, everyday life can get inrepparttar 130876 way of reaching our most important goals. My clients often ask me how to get back inrepparttar 130877 groove when they’ve veered off course. They often say things such as: “I was doing so well. How can I get back on track and recoup allrepparttar 130878 advancements I’ve made?” A technique I recommend is to write a “success memo.”

A success memo outlinesrepparttar 130879 key elements that exist when you are atrepparttar 130880 top of your game. It laysrepparttar 130881 breadcrumbs that lead you back to a place where you have a winning state of mind and can refocus on your most important goals. Your memo provides you with your personal success formula: step-by-step instructions on how to get back on course, consolidate your gains and move up torepparttar 130882 next level.

For example, I have a client who is required to travel internationally for business every few months. Upon return from these trips, she would often feel “off kilter” and it would take her several weeks to regain her energy and momentum.

I asked her what made her feel off balance. She responded that upon return, she would feel sluggish, edgy and ungrounded. I then asked her to identify what it was about international travel that caused her to feel this way.

She replied: - Not getting enough sleep becauserepparttar 130883 colleague she travels with (her superior) likes to work late at night - Feeling stiff and cramped from long hours onrepparttar 130884 plane, lugging heavy bags, not stretching, etc. - Lack of personal downtime because she was always onrepparttar 130885 go during her trips.

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