Stop Scoring Own Goals

STOP SCORING OWN GOALS Own goals are actions, things we do, that stop us from reaching where we want to go or what we want to obtain. When we are out of focus, when we are out of tune with what’s going on, when we do something which takes us in opposite direction of where we were going or should be going, we have scored an own goal. Sometimes they happen accidentally, sometimes on purpose and sometimes simply because we try too hard. First Own Goal To stop scoring first own goal, answer following questions: What is my focus? What do I want out of life? When you have a clear focus then you become more aware of your capabilities and what you need to add to be successful. However, we usually do it other way around. We work out what our capabilities are and then decide what we should focus on. We live our lives like a flea in a flea circus. How do you train fleas? It’s easy; first you collect them and put them in a match box. Then you close box. They keep jumping, hitting all sides of box, until they get a headache, and all of a sudden, noise stops. You then open box and fleas will only jump to height of original match box. How many of us are like this? We have learned to jump only to height of box we have been kept in and sometimes at direction of trainer. The result is, even when you take us out of our boxes, we don’t jump to our true potential. To have a chance of reaching your true potential your focus must come from your feelings. What would you really like to achieve in your life? What is that hidden dream? What is that thought that you are frightened to acknowledge? IF YOU HAVE THE FOCUS THEN YOU WILL PICK UP THE CAPABILITIES ON THE WAY. First identify your Focus Our guess is that this is way you have run most successful parts of your life to date. You already have experience. If you know where you are going, then start looking at where own goals are occurring. Are you scoring own goals because enthusiasm is gone? If you have right focus your enthusiasm is naturally high. Therefore if you don’t have enthusiasm for your focus you don’t have correct focus. Once you have identified it, it is important to keep your aim and objective in front of you. Let it drive all your thoughts and behaviours otherwise you will get lost on way. REMEMBER: Your capabilities and skills will develop as you pursue focus. Your enthusiasm is affected by your focus. Second Own Goal Another common way we stop ourselves from achieving is; we work out of ‘want box’ rather than ‘need box’. It is important to differentiate WHAT YOU NEED FROM WHAT YOU WANT. If you pursue your needs rather than your wants then you have more chance of living a happier life and reaching your focus. If you live in want box (e.g. if only I had this, I would be happy) then you start putting conditions to your focus- most common own goal we score. Third Own Goal What type of relationship do you have with: • yourself • other people. How you treat yourself? How do you treat other people? The best relationship can have is a Win/ Win, a relationship where I win and you do too. We both feel we have achieved what was possible. The result is acceptable to both sides. Neither person feels hurt, used or abused by encounter. In a Win /Win relationship, I feel good about myself and I feel good about my focus; what I’m trying to achieve. When I do make mistakes I don’t immediately become abusive to myself , I just stop to think and examine what’s happened Or, perhaps your style is a Win/Lose style, where you win and other person loses. A style typically used by aggressive sales persons and business people. They have little or no interest in other person provided they buy product or do as they are told. Another way of playing a Win/Lose game is by committing what is now called a ‘professional foul’. If you can’t win you do something to stop other person winning. Ask yourself: How many ‘professional fouls’ have I committed this month? It can be something as easy as pouting or sulking. When you go into a relationship, do you go into it to Win/ Win or Win /Lose?

It's All About A Journey

"It's not destination. It's journey." I'm sure you have heard something like that before. Be it "destination" or "journey", I have learned something along way: happiness is more of a choice than I first realized. In past I tended to think happiness would naturally follow if I... Attained a certain set of goals. Or succeeded at certain things. And I'll admit, I often experienced a measure of happiness as a goal was accomplished or I succeeded at something that was important to me. But over time I noticed a pattern: happiness didn't last. I felt like someone who won 100 yard dash. I'd win, feel joy, and go on to win again. And again. The problem was holding on to that "winning feeling" between races. I found myself wanting more. I wanted to feel joy on a more consistent basis. I longed to experience happiness more -- and chase it less! In other words, I wanted kind of happiness that didn't require me to attain something in order to have feeling. A BREAK THROUGH... I have now come to realization that, for most part, I can choose to be happy on a daily basis. There is a measure of truth in old saying, "Fake it till you make it." Granted, it doesn't work all time. However, if "fake it" means choosing to think and act in a variety of "happy ways" before I actually have those feelings, then I would have to say I agree. Take a simple smile, for instance. I've found that something as simple as smiling can do wonders to help me see that I have in me ability to choose to be happy. LIVING IN THE MOMENT I believe one of best things we can do is to live in moment: it does wonders when it comes to cultivating a life filled with ongoing happiness. Taking time to reflect and be grateful for things we have accomplished can also have an enormous impact when it comes to lifting our moods. I'd strongly encourage you to take breaks during day.