Start Your Day on Your TermsWritten by Mark Susnow
Most of us start day like we're trying to catch a train. We wake up, grab a cup of coffee, look at paper and listen to news. We rush out of house to make an appointment or deadline or to put finishing touches on a project. From deadline to appointment it goes. When we leave work we have other responsibilities and obligations, and it doesn't end until we go to sleep, and for some it still doesn't end. We never do catch train. We forgot one essential thing. We are conductor and train can't go anywhere without us. What if you knew deep inside that train was not going anywhere? What would it take to develop wisdom that there was a better way? What changes could you implement that would make a difference? I was a busy trial lawyer for thirty years, always running to catch train. I still remember racing to court room full of coffee and stress until I realized I was conductor of my life. That realization allowed me to make life altering changes that continue to make my life more enjoyable, more successful and more fulfilling. It all starts with creating your perfect morning. This is your morning, no one else's. Consider waking up to music you love, rather than to music or news on your alarm clock. Then before doing anything else take 10-15 minutes and sit silently thinking about all you're grateful for. Then start to wonder what highlight of your day could be. From this new vantage point you might even skip that cup of coffee or that cigarette. As you leave your house and begin flow of your day you look at each experience and wonder if this is going to be highpoint of your day knowing there is more to come. The concept of looking at highlight of day can be used in any situation even one that seems unpleasant. Looking for highlight in this experience or this person can totally change your attitude. As day unfolds, if you sense that things inside are heating up, consider taking a little break. You might even stretch for five minutes or walk around block. As your day progresses biggest difference is knowledge that you can be busy and be relaxed.
| | The Difference Between Approval and AppreciationWritten by Margaret Paul, Ph.D.
The following article is offered for free use in your ezine, print publication or on your web site, so long as author resource box at end is included. Notification of publication would be appreciated.Title: The Difference Between Approval and Appreciation Author: Margaret Paul, Ph.D. E-mail: margaret@innerbonding.com Copyright: © 2003 by Margaret Paul Web Address: http://www.innerbonding.com Word Count: 693 Category: Relationships/Communication/Emotional Healing THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN APPROVAL AND APPRECIATION By Margaret Paul, Ph.D. Having worked with individuals, couples, families and business partners for 35 years, helping them learn to resolve conflict, I have often been faced with difficulties that occur when people are confused about difference between approval with appreciation. Have you ever wondered about difference between approval and appreciation? Most of us have never actually thought about it, yet if we do think about it, we realize that we feel very differently when we receive approval as opposed to receiving appreciation. There are good reasons for this. Approval is something we give from a wounded, controlling part of us. Approval is conditional upon other person performing in way we want or expect. Approval is manipulative - that is, we give it with an outcome in mind. We hope that other person will continue to do what we want as a result of approval. Appreciation, on other hand, is something we offer from a whole loving place within - what I call loving Adult. It comes from heart and is offered spontaneously as heart wells up with feelings of delight, awe, joy, or love regarding another’s way of being. Appreciation has much more to do with essence of a person rather than with performance. We are appreciating a person’s core Self, who they really are and results of who they are, rather than what they do and their performance. With appreciation, there is no attachment to outcome, no expectation that other should or will continue to perform. Appreciation is a true gift. Often, when someone says they want appreciation or do not feel appreciated, what they are really seeking is approval. It is wounded part of them who is not feeling seen and appreciated within - they are not seeing and appreciating themselves so they need it from others to feel worthy. The wounded self of individual projects outward inner need to be seen, understood and appreciated and pulls from others to get this need met. Whenever I hear someone say that they do not feel appreciated, I know that their essence - their Inner Child - is not being seen and loved by their own inner adult.
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