Speak to Me of LoveWritten by Alvah Parker
Dovid Grossman, a coach and father of nine, recently told me that his father and he had fought constantly through his growing up years. Through it all, his mother was referee. Finally when Dovid was 17 years old he sat down with his father and said, “I want to have a close relationship with you.” He was flabbergasted when his father said, “I’ve tried to do that your whole life but I don’t know how.”The conversation made a strong impression on me because I too had a stormy relationship with my father. I tell people I had sibling rivalry with my father! Gary Chapman, pastor and marriage counselor, noticed that if you want to truly connect with your loved one you need to know and speak his or her love language. A love language is way we express our devotion and commitment, and it can be learned or changed to touch hearts of our partners. Chapman says there are 5 Love Languages. They are: ·Receiving Gifts – Presents and physical tokens of affection move you. ·Quality Time – This can be expressed either through those intimate tête-à-tête discussions or via doing things together. ·Acts of Service – You prefer to show your love through favors and chores and doing things for others. ·Physical Touch – You want to give and/or receive affection physically. ·Words of Affirmation – You need to hear praise to know you are loved, and you may also prefer to express your affection verbally. Everyone has a preferred love language. Most of us just naturally assume that because we like to have love expressed to us in a certain way that other person wants to have it expressed to him or her in that same way.
| | Cherokee GenealogyWritten by Trevor Dumbleton
For those of Native American descent, one of easiest genealogies to trace is Cherokee genealogy. Thanks to Cherokee being one of most Anglicized of nations, they put down much more of their history in writing than many other nations.As Cherokee lived along and near Eastern Seaboard, had much more contact with white settlers and thus picked up many more of white settlers ways. Included among these ways was habit of obsessively writing down their births, deaths, and parentage. Though other nations certainly kept track of such things, Cherokee actually put their genealogy down on paper, allowing later generations to trace their lineage. Thus, Cherokee genealogy is most complete of all Native American nations. However, just because it is easiest lineage to trace does not mean that it is actually easy. The record is not entirely complete, after all, and there are many other problems involved. Not least among this is fact that many Native Americans used two names in their dealings with other people. One was name to tribe. The other was an Anglicized name that included a surname. It is very difficult to trace one particular person, just because one name might show up on one document, and other name on another document. Unless a person knows both names that person went by, this habit could chop off family tree at a person whose Anglicized name shows up as a parent, but whose birth certificate cannot be found, simply because Native name was used. Thus, Cherokee genealogy searches often come up with dead end of a mysterious name.
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