An apology is a sign of strength, not weakness. Sometimes we may believe that if we apologize to our children we weaken ourselves and
rules we are trying to keep. We may also believe it will make our children think their behavior was okay. It is important to understand that this is not case. I have found myself at times reacting negatively to my daughter’s occasional inattention to her daily diabetes care. Not just negatively but loudly. What I discovered was that I could apologize for how I responded to her behavior, without condoning what she did. (Or didn’t do) Apologizing in this manner makes it clear that I am not relaxing rules. It does not undermine my authority or my ability to make rules and expect compliance. I found it does set a good example and encourages her to be open and apologize when she has done wrong. Apologizing shows empathy for what I may have done to her feelings and respect for her right to be treated fairly.Apologizing shows that you can admit error without loss of face. It shows that your self-esteem is strong enough to be left intact. It teaches your child to take responsibility and shows them that everyone makes mistakes. And finally it will prove to your child that you both can survive mistakes.
Showing that we have strength to admit to and survive mistakes helps to encourage our children to have same strength in their dealings with others. It’s important to demonstrate that a relationship can survive errors. Our children need to know that it’s possible to make amends and give another person option to do same in return. Apologizing lets a person both give and experience forgiveness. If our children grow up with experience of apology and forgiveness within family, they will be far better equipped to deal with relationships they will develop as they grow up. There are few life skills we will ever teach our children that are more important than this.
Different Ways of Apologizing We can apologize by saying it in words, by doing something for our child, or buying something for our child. Don’t start yelling at your computer screen, I’ll explain buying part in a minute.
