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Some of
words we can use:
“I’m sorry I got back later than I said I would.” “I feel awful that I shouted at you this morning.” “It was silly to get so upset about your messy room.”
Doing something:
Doing something special with our children can be more powerful than just saying we’re sorry. It shows that we really mean it.
Buying something:
Giving our time and attention to our children almost always means more to them than buying them something, but little surprises given along with a verbal apology shows we have given thought to what happened.
When Not to Apologize There are some dangers in apologizing too much. The problem is not with apology but with reason for frequency. When we find ourselves apologizing too much we might be showing our children our own uncertainty. Our children rely on our certainty about life. They rely on us for guidance. Instead of apologizing if we aren’t sure whether we have done right thing, it might be a good idea to feel sorry but say nothing. We need to use our own judgment to decide how much is too much.
What Happens When We Don’t Apologize? We all remember at some point in our lives when someone was clearly wrong and did not apologize for their behavior. It caused a lot of resentment when we felt we were unfairly treated. Our children have an acute sense of fairness. Resentment grows and eats away at good feelings and a barrier grows between our children and ourselves. We must not allow this. Remember this about apologies; if you want to hear them, you need to give them. Apologies make you feel better about yourself. They are a statement of honesty and wipe slate clean. And finally, it they are given, make sure you accept them.
Russell Turner is the father of a 10 year old diabetic daughter. After she was diagnosed he soon discovered he could find all sorts of medical information on the internet. What he couldn't find was how to prepare his child and family for living with this disease. He started his own website for parents of newly diagnosed diabetic children http://www.mychildhasdiabetes.com
