STRESS MANAGEMENT FOR 2004: The Rest of the StoryWritten by Pat Swan, MS, Life and Relationship Coach
Perhaps you are like many of people I talk to who have moved on from stress of holidays and are now feeling stress of everyday life. Would you really like to reduce or even eliminate some of stress rather than just “manage” it? Would you like a healthier, happier life?Stress is epidemic in our country. Norman Cousins, author of Anatomy of an Illness said that “stress is most serious medical problem of our time.” Chronic stress releases dangerous stress hormones and shuts down our immune system. Stress plays a major role in most illnesses including cancer, heart disease, fibromyalgia, migraines, gastrointestinal problems, arthritis and many more. Stress related symptoms are reason for 90% of doctor office visits. Stress kills. If you are like me, you have probably taken at least one of those “stress tests.” You know, kind where you check off all of possible life stressors you have experienced and then realize you have checked most of them. Then what? Do we just wait to get sick? What are we supposed to do about it? Most of people I talk to say that stress management strategies suggested to them include exercise, nutrition, yoga, meditation, relaxation, deep breathing, and perhaps a hot bath. What if I told you that NONE of these will help you reduce or eliminate your stress? They all may be helpful in boosting immune function, clearing mind, or developing physical fitness. But they will provide, at most, momentary relief from ongoing problem of chronic stress. WHY? Because stress is EMOTION that results from LIFE EVENTS. An event happens, we interpret it, we generate emotion. Stressful emotions include fear, worry, anxiety, anger, rage, grief, hurt, shame. Emotions eat at us. They make us sick. Stressful LIFE EVENTS include relationship problems, life/work balance problems, career issues, parenting problems, life issues around purpose and priorities, financial problems, and many more.
| | Enhance Relationships At Home and Work: 5 Steps to Becoming an Excellent ListenerWritten by Pat Swan, MS, Life and Relationship Coach
“Nature has given to men one tongue, but two ears, that we may hear from others twice as much as we speak.” ~ Epictetus, Greek PhilosopherHow well we listen determines quality of our connections with others whether at home or work. Yet, most of us did not master excellent communication skills in our family of origin. In fact, most of us haven’t taken any formal training in art of communication. And, as far as communication goes, listening is definitely key. Luckily, anyone can learn these skills. Excellence is developed with practice. The following steps will help you sharpen your listening skills. 1)Maintain good eye contact with person you are talking to. Eye contact is imperative in conversation, and makes it possible for you to sense underlying emotions as well as to assess facial expression and body language. Good eye contact says you are listening and are interested in person and conversation. 2)Empty your head of your own agenda, and listen to what speaker is saying. This is especially difficult if you disagree with what speaker is saying or have another opinion. Remember, you will have your turn to speak. Overcome temptation to jump in with your own opinion until you have truly explored what other person has to say. (This is particularly hard if you happen to be talking with your teenager!) 3)Check out what you have heard by stating what you thought you heard back to person you are speaking to.
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