Just when I have something figured out, along comes another how-to-article telling me how to be or do something better or even change my entire life. No matter where I turn, I am constantly reminded that I am not good enough in more ways than one. I am not smart enough, not rich enough, not slim enough, not efficient enough, not pretty enough, not powerful enough, not “with it” enough and probably “out of it” altogether.

That’s me and it gets worse. In line with our education economy, yesterday’s perfect diet is banned today and my car of year was just recalled. My time-management is out of date and my writing achievements fade against big authors. Yes, I am my own worst critic. Growing up with perfectionist parents didn’t help either. It wasn’t until their seventies, that my father could tolerate fingerprints on his freshly washed car and that my mother learned to enjoy a meal without matching table décor.

Perfectionism is driving us up wall or around bend and neither direction is desirable. No wonder half of population is on Prozac and other half copes on some other crutch. We live under constant pressure to be perfect and expect nothing less from others. Intensely glued to information that helps us conform to some perfect ideal, we learn less about ourselves. Detached from core of who we are, we show up with fabricated selves to gain approval.

There is quite a difference between aiming for a successful life or relationship and trying to achieve perfection. Contrary to popular belief, perfection is not required to succeed in love and life. In fact, perfectionism-trap has serious negative consequences:

·We feel our accomplishments are never good enough ·We don’t achieve personal satisfaction ·We value people based on their achievements ·We believe doing our best doesn’t cut it ·We take mistakes personally and hesitate to try again ·We are afraid to show our flaws ·We are vulnerable to rejection ·We do what we should, not what we want ·We set impossible to reach goals ·We are hard on others and ourselves ·We expect perfection of others ·We develop a obsession with perfectionism ·We feel we never measure up ·We fear failure in relationships and have difficulties being intimate ·We don’t pursue a relationship out of fear it might not be perfect ·We become critical of our partners

“You cannot control what happens to you, but you can control your attitude toward what happens to you, and in that, you will be mastering change rather than allowing it to master you.” -Brian Tracy

In order to make choices that may change your destiny, you must first know yourself and what you are creating moment by moment. What you do in present moment brings you closer to being in command of your destiny. When you focus on past experience and knowledge you’ve gained from school, work, society, economic, and spiritual training, you can begin to know yourself.

Human nature is created so that you can choose your destiny, and then control it. The key is to be one of few who know where you are going and exactly how to get there. To do this, you must realize that life is changeable. With each change along way you develop experience. You enrich your learning.

Since your life is always in a constant state of creating and developing, you create your own story by choosing direction you want it to take. With any one decision, you can change your destiny. You have power to do this: it is called making choices. Without it you’d just be following masses and letting others control your destination.

The repetition of certain thoughts also plays a huge part in determining your destiny. This is why it’s most important to be aware of what and how you think. Some thoughts that may bear repeating include: