Webster defines perfectionism as "a disposition, which regards anything short of perfect as unacceptable". The torment for perfectionists is that they never find anything perfect, simply because perfection does not exist. Instead they suffer from social and personal anxiety and strained relationships. To find peace, accept ourselves and nurture best in us, we have to overcome perfectionism and:

·Use our mistakes as opportunities for growth ·Set goals in line with who we are and what we want ·Accept ourselves as human beings with flaws ·Give a little less than 100% and still experience success ·Enjoy journey instead of just focussing on goal ·Recognize that anxiety arises when we set unrealistic goals ·Understand that we get more done and feel better about ourselves if we don’t strive for perfection. ·Give up irrational belief that relationships must be perfect ·Stop second guessing ourselves ·Be compassionate with ourselves and our partners

Thousands of people give less than 100% to a goal, but 100% to journey and succeed. Everyday people don’t give all they’ve got, but still get done what they need to. If we try to give 100 % to everything we do, we never get enough done. Perfectionists operate on assumption that unless they can give 100 % to a task, they won’t even start. As a result, they become occupied with trivial details and put off tasks until they can make a 100% effort. Perfectionists tend to be procrastinators with endless to-do lists and dreams put on hold until “some day.”

When it comes to relationships, perfectionists don’t do that well either. Single perfectionists keep on dating without making a choice, thinking someone more perfect will be around corner. When they are in a relationship, fear that it might not be perfect, keeps their relationships from progressing. Even when they finally settle with a partner, second-guessing their choice and being critical of their partner ensures frustrating relationships. Compromise in love as well as in life is difficult for them. Perfectionists pay a high price for misguided belief that choosing right love partner will guarantee a perfect relationship.

The entire perfectionist-trap becomes a vicious cycle in life and love. The more we attempt to be perfect in every area, more anxious we get. This anxiety is coupled with a feeling of always falling short or behind. Consequently we concentrate on what is wrong with us or what we didn’t do. While doing our very best is admirable, more often than not, doing a good job is enough. The truth is that we are always half-cooked human beings in transition. Nobody will love us any more just because we are more perfect. We are being loved for passion and spirit we bring to table as genuine human beings.

© 2005 Allie Ochs

And as you keep these thoughts uppermost in your mind, you have power to be guided by them. Yet, just knowing without thinking how you respond to life is art of self-awareness and living in present moment. Being aware of each moment is a part of your true being

Other ways to measure power of your thoughts is to limit any thoughts that are non-productive. Some of these non-productive thoughts may include:

 Feeling guilty when you say, “No.” Refusing to cater to demands of others is not a selfish act. Saying, ‘yes, when you mean ‘no’ may cause resentment.’  Feeling ‘stupid’ when you don’t understand something - Rather then make a mistake when instructions are not clear, don’t be afraid to ask for clarification. This is a sign of good judgment.  Thinking that everything you do is solely your own doing. Be confident and have enough faith to know that your life is guided by a higher power. This confirms your spirituality.  Ignoring opportunities to change - Growth comes with change. Life is a constant state of change. Be ready for any worthwhile challenge or opportunity to grow.  Worrying - Some of best opportunities are missed when you worry and procrastinate until opportunity has come and gone. Learn to be decisive. What’s worst possible scenario? How hurt would you feel if you missed a great opportunity?

Whatever you do, and wherever you are in life, pay attention to your thoughts. Any sign of negativity, anger, fear, or procrastination is harmful. Get rid of biased opinions. Be open to other ways of thinking. Make best of your thoughts and your thoughts will make best you.

Then, let your new founded self-awareness lead you to a life where you are free to choose and to control your own dreams and goals. That’s your destiny.

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Copyright 2005 Gerri D Smith publishes and hosts a Free monthly newsletter to inspire, motivate, and encourage individuals, and entrepreneurs to reach their dreams. Visit: http://www.distinctivebusinesswomen.com Or, send your correct email address to: gerri@distinctivebusinesswomen.com?Subject=Subscribe