While we can learn from both optimists and pessimists, most of us need help being optimistic. This article explores both ways of thinking, and gives some suggestions on how to become more optimistic.

The defining characteristic of pessimists is that they tend to believe bad events will last a long time, undermine everything that they do, and are their fault. Optimists, confronted with same situations, believe that defeat is a temporary setback, its causes are confined to that one situation, and it's not their fault. While a pessimist may give up, an optimist will try harder to change situation.

Pros and Cons To Both Optimism and Pessimism

There are pros and cons to both optimism and pessimism. Extreme optimism can be off-putting and invalidating because it seems phony and can be a denial of reality and pain. Extreme pessimism can be depressing because it seems to only focus on negative and catastrophizes events. A healthy dose of optimism can be uplifting and hopeful, while a healthy dose of pessimism can be realistic and wise. Achieving a balance of being realistic and hopeful can be a challenge.

Differences Between Optimists and Pessimists

There are many reasons why people become pessimistic, including child trauma, losses, or highly critical parents - yet many optimists have also experienced great hardships and traumas; Anne Frank is a good example.

The difference between optimists and pessimists isn't a difference in life experiences, but rather in how people perceive and respond to adversity. For example, an optimist who is going through a hard time assumes that life will get better, while a pessimist believes life will always be difficult and painful.

These different approaches to life impact on health. People who are optimistic generally have better health, age well, and live more free of many physical problems associated with aging. Fortunately, optimism can be learned.

Ways To Be Optimistic

Hall has taken a leadership role in development of a modern view of “gentleman” – a man who actively pursues chivalric high road and realizes his character is linked to his deeds. With a fresh twist on topic in today’s society, Hall looks to some past philosophy and traditions to develop a current guide towards civility and kindness.

Hall encourages readers to improve personal character and promotes this idea by asking reader to focus on what is truly more important: loved ones, family and community. “Many men and women have become preoccupied with their own needs and have forgotten about others, making them dismiss their personal, parental and social responsibilities,” he explains. “It’s time for men to rethink their priorities and make necessary changes to become an American gentleman.”

So how does one become a gentleman in a modern day world? He or she simply has to think of others before himself. Hall provides many examples framework to lead a more chivalrous life:

Seek greatness in character. “Often men and women are unwilling to invest in one another and instead are seeking to know what makes each other vulnerable,” Hall says.

Know that romance is wonderful. “It is never unmanly to be romantic and to enjoy romance,” he says.