Need to Change Something?Written by Susan Dunn, MA, Emotional Intelligence Coach
“Need to change something?” you ask. “Isn’t it enough that everything around me is changing so fast I can’t keep up?”I see and hear it all time. People starting to say something, then stopping, shaking their head and saying, “It isn’t like it used to be.” You may agree with Michael Fry and T. Lewis who said, in “Over Hedge, “ “the more things change, more they remain … insane.” A common reaction to this is to knuckle down and try and keep as much same as you can, while at same time, lamenting changes going on around you. It leaves us, I’m afraid, beating out heads against a brick wall. We become rigid in reaction to all change going around. More determined than ever to fight it. But isn’t there a better way? If change has become norm, wouldn’t it be wise to become change proficient? Isn’t it better to light a candle than to curse darkness? To become change-proficient, first of all you have to want to. This may be hardest part of all. It means recognizing that things are changing, and are going to, and accepting idea. Eventually you can come to embrace it. It requires developing some Emotional Intelligence skills, such as resilience. This means being able to bounce back! Yes, you can want things to stay same, and will them to, and do what you can about it, but some things won’t, and that’s when resilience comes in. It means being able to face loss, rejection and setbacks – which is one way to define “change” – with aplomb. Dealing with loss, but coming back with enthusiasm and hope for future.
| | Improve Your Listening Immediately!Written by Stephen D. Boyd
We are good at talking, but we have trouble listening. One sage said, “The only reason we listen is because we know we get to talk next.” Here are some tips that can change your listening behavior now. Names! First, repeat a person’s name when you first meet him or her. This will make you listen first and talk second. You want to have a mental set to become a better listener, and repeating a person’s name will help you do that. Don’t hesitate to ask a person to repeat name second time, especially if name is unusual. You are showing concern for other person, which is an important aspect of listening. Use person’s name in your response. “Is this your first time here, Suzanne?” Ask a question! Second, when you are anticipating making a comment on what a person has said, ask a question instead. This will keep you listening longer, and often added information will help you make a higher quality contribution to conversation. Get information before you give information. Pause! Third, don’t rush to answer phone when it rings. Pause a moment so that you can be mentally ready to listen to person calling you rather than thinking about what you were doing when phone rang. Taking these few extra seconds to think will make you a better listener from beginning of phone conversation. In addition, listen as though you are going to report message to someone else. This keeps you focused on main reason or idea of call.
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