Mush Brain: What To Do About It

Written by Susan Dunn, MA, Emotional Intelligence Coach


You’re frustrated, hurt, betrayed, scared, desperate, or desperately in love and there you sit, stand, walk or stomp around, with nothing “intelligent” coming out of your mouth.

Maybe you cry, maybe you lash out, maybe you stammer, maybe you pout or roll your eyes in disgust, maybe you sit, moony-eyed and tongue-tied or say exactly what you meant not to say, and through it all you realize nothing you’re doing is helping anything. Where is your brain when you need itrepparttar most?

When we’re under strong emotions, our brains turn to mush. What is going on?

Why This Happens

What happens is we’re under threat. That’s how our primitive brain is taking it anyway,repparttar 101584 one that’s there to preserve us inrepparttar 101585 short-term, and is not thinking about things inrepparttar 101586 long-term. Our thinking brain (neocortex) has been disabled.

When emotions surge, out reptilian, or primitive brain, has taken over. This brings with it physiological responses that affect us – your head is pounding, your pulse is raising, your blood pressure goes up, you have trouble breathing and your stomach is in knots. Your body is on full alert to protect you from a threat. It doesn’t want you to think, it wants you to act – fight or flight. Andrepparttar 101587 reason you’re feeling this way is you fearrepparttar 101588 same things are going to happen to you – you’ll either be abandoned or attacked.

What You Can Do

What can you do when you’re in this state? Well, an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. These emotional states are part of life. We welcomerepparttar 101589 positive states, and dislikerepparttar 101590 negatives states, and both are going to happen. Polishing up on your emotional intelligence competencies can help you understand these states better and deal with them more constructively.

Your thinking brain is still around, if you can learn how to access it. You’re probably familiar with such recommended techniques as taking a deep breath and counting to 10, or taking a time-out, or self-soothing techniques. And if you’re like me, atrepparttar 101591 time these pressured-events occur, being told to take a deep breath is like being told to take a warm bath when you’ve just lost your job. It doesn’t work for you unlessrepparttar 101592 groundwork has been laid.

What Else Can You Do?

Work on this proactively. When you understand better your own feelings and how they work, and how to express them appropriately (because not all of them need be expressed), you’re prepared.

Emotional Intelligence starts with self-awareness. Start by getting in touch with your own feelings. Check in with yourself several times a day. This is notrepparttar 101593 “How are you?” “Fine,” sort of interchange. Ask yourself how you are feeling emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually. Then answer yourself!

You’re Angry … and What Else?

Start with angry, which is an onion of many layers of feelings. Learn how to sort through them. When you remember to add in your physical state, for instance, you may find that one ofrepparttar 101594 major components of your anger atrepparttar 101595 time is that you’re exhausted, or it’s 90 degrees inrepparttar 101596 room and you’re sweltering, or you haven’t eaten in 6 hours and you’re hungry – looking for kill!

After a Crisis or Trauma

Written by Susan Dunn, MA Psychology, Professional Coach


Crises and traumas change our lives. We talk about Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome, but did you know they can also change us forrepparttar better? There is also a Post traumatic Stress Growth Syndrome. Many people come out of crises stronger and more resilient, and have learned many new life skills.

When people talk about a crisis they’ve weathered here are some ofrepparttar 101583 things they say have resulted.

1.Change in priorities.

It’s common after you go through a crisis to look at things differently. One thing it often does is show us how fragile life is. If we have lost someone, or nearly lost our own life, or something important, we take a look at our lives and figure out what really matters. You also have a different relationship with time.

2.Dealing with emotions differently.

You tend to come out of a crisis being more willing to express your motions, and to understand those of others, and relate with more compassion. Crises often extend our awareness of our emotions because we’re flooded with so many, and trying to sort through them all teaches us new levels. It raises our tolerance threshold.

Atrepparttar 101584 same time, we understandrepparttar 101585 importance of listening to others. To know pain and suffering means you can understand these in others better. Many counselors, coaches and therapists have gone through some sort of trauma. This is one way in which they become such a good listeners.

3.Resilience.

Weathering a storm teaches you a lot about weathering storms. The next time something comes along, you can look back onrepparttar 101586 skills you used to get you throughrepparttar 101587 last one. You can also learn from your mistakes. Just as a sailor’s skills aren’t really tested inrepparttar 101588 harbor, we learn new things when we’re tested. You find out you are stronger than you ever thought possible.

4.Draw closer to people and understand community.

You find in a crisis how wonderful people can be. Some people may let you down, but others will come forward.

5.New interests.

Because we change through a crisis, we often take up new interests. You may become interested in a different sort of career, for instance, or decide you want to marry and have a fulfilling relationship, where you didn’t before, or to give more back to your community in means of volunteer service. Very often it amounts to a “new you” and you extend your boundaries.

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