So, while you do feel angry, there’s a huge component there that’s related to your internal state. Another day, another time you’d be far less angered.

Self-Awareness

Self-awareness is cornerstone of Emotional Intelligence. Without it, you can’t understand other people. Learning how you work, and why, allows you to perceive how this might be operating in other people. This is important because they, like you, have trouble expressing their emotions.

While other party may not be perceptive enough to acknowledge they’re having a bad day, or are too tired to communicate well or connect, or may not want to admit this, considering it either a weakness or irrelevant, you’ll have information. This allows you to avoid provoking someone in such a state, to save your discussion for a better time, to soothe other person, or to avoid them at this time.

Empathy

When you know your own feelings well, and how they’re expressed, you can more quickly pick up on what’s going on with others.

Our emotions guide us if we pay attention to them. From our emotions we learn what’s good and what’s bad, what we want to be around and what we don’t, what’s going to feel good and what isn’t.

Emotions are also contagious. Self-awareness and empathy allow us to keep good boundaries. When you can sense other person’s brain has turned to mush, or is about to, then you have good information!

How can you tell? The same way you’ve learned to tell what’s going on with yourself. When we get angry, there are usually visible external signs. The same as go on with you. A flushing face, pounding fist, tapping fingers, bouncing leg, crossed arms, pouting face, eyes turned to slits. Know your own and you’ll recognize them in others.

There are many nonverbal signals to any emotional state that you can become more aware of. 90% of all communication is nonverbal, and emotions are expressed more compellingly through nonverbal means. That’s because they are less under out control.

Even most controlled person will have trouble controlling expansion or contraction of their pupils, and certain other physical manifestations of emotions can’t be controlled at all.

We generally don’t make mindful choices about gestures and expression, because we’re too busy talking to notice or care.

However, we can learn to read them in others, and generally we do. This is how we come to know our loved ones so well, and know what that tilt of head means, that little smile, that certain hand gesture.

To Connect, Not to Manipulate

Learning to understand other people better is about learning to communicate, cooperate, and connect. We’re all after something in our interchanges. At work, for instance, we may be working on a joint project that needs to happen. With good boundaries on both sides, we can suggest and influence, understand ourselves and others better, and accomplish more positive outcomes.

6.Less willing to compromise.

Often we find after a crisis, we’re more willing to change things that need changing, and to take action when it’s necessary. The strength you discover in a crisis leads to a great sense of personal power; your ability to effect what’s going on around you.

7.Not taking anything for granted.

Once you discover what really matters, you are much more willing to put work in. This could include meaningful relationships or work. Losing something important, or almost losing it, brings thing into a new perspective. You don’t take things for granted you used to.

8.An appreciation for now.

There is nothing like going through a trauma or crisis to make you appreciate a quiet, “normal” day. Suddenly a day that formerly might have seemed boring to you is full of wonderful things – among them, just fact that there’s nothing awful going on.

9.Handle stress better.

Your toleration of stress will have become elevated, and you can handle everyday stress better.

10.Spiritual growth.

Going through a crisis is being where rubber hits road. You question many things, including your faith, and can come out much stronger. Questions arise that wouldn’t have arisen otherwise, and so you grow.

All of these things are possible when you go through a crisis or trauma. One of most important things is not to stay in isolation. Many people understand after going through a crisis how helpful other people can be, and how much we need one another.

Coaching and counseling can also help you in time of need. Resilience means being able to bounce back after loss, failure, and misfortune being able to retain you hope and enthusiasm for future.

While no one wants to have a crisis or trauma occur in their life, it can be a tremendous growth opportunity. Studies have shown that isolation, which means emotional isolation, is one of worst things you can do for your health. Reach out for help you need and stay connected, and work on your emotional intelligence skills. It’s emotionally intelligent thing to do.