While some people say “there are no rules” in game of life, I think it’s opposite. There are always rules, and you have to figure them out as you go along.

There are no rules in sense that you don’t have to follow them, following them doesn’t guarantee good results, and they don’t apply to everyone.

You can also follow all rules but personalities and emotions get in way. For instance in school, you probably learned unfair fact of life that you could be best student, but you might not get best grades if teacher didn’t like you. That’s a meta-rule.

Meta-rules are rules about rules. To say “there are no rules” is a meta-rule.

It will be helpful if you arm yourself with some meta-rules before you begin dating again. Here are a few. There are more in my ebook, “Midlife Dating Survival Manual for Women.”

Sometimes friends and country clubs are divided up in divorce along with possessions, or you may find your invitations from married couples dwindling or difficult. Formerly an enthusiastic host or hostess, you may find it too challenging to entertain alone in your own home, while feeling like “odd man out” with former married crowd you moved in. You may also have lost your best tennis or racquetball partner in your former spouse.

Others take a hiatus after a breakup or loss of a spouse, and then, when they feel like getting active again, wonder how to go about it. It isn’t just about finding a new partner, it’s doing things you like to do with others.

Here are some suggestions.

SINGLE ACTIVITIES GROUPS

You can find these groups through yellow pages, search engines or local churches. If you don’t find one in your town, start one. They fill a need.

These groups may or may not be age-limited. Structured in various ways, they usually have an Activities Chairperson who schedules events. The person who wants to “sponsor” an event or activity gets it on calendar, coordinates logistics (collects money, books tickets), takes reservations, answers questions and serves as welcoming host at event or activity itself.

MIXED GROUPS

Regular activity groups such as an Adventure Group are a great idea too. Activities are physically oriented, including dancing, kayacking, hiking, and camping trips. There could be one around culture too, or travel. They include both single and married folks, just like church, Rotary and workplace.

It’s a great way to meet new people, whether you’re a couple new to town who knows no one outside of work, or a single person hoping to find a partner.

Socializing around shared interests with an unplanned group of others is one of best ways to meet new members of opposite sex. They have a good energy, and you’re already on way toward compatibility.

Volunteering would also fit this category. Check out your local museums, non-profits, libraries, hospitals, zoo and alma mater to see what groups you can belong to and enjoy.

And don’t forget civic organizations.

Remember, you can make it happen. If you went to a big school and still live in that town, why not start a Single Alumni Club? You’d connect with people you have a lot in common with – history.

SINGLES FRIENDS GROUP

A Singles Friends Group may or may not be age-defined, and can include a wide variety of social events and activities out on town, up in hills, or in homes of members. Some may date, but it’s mostly about new friends and shared interests.

Included might be: wine and beer tasting, happy hour, a crafts party for members and their grandkids, Super Bowl party in someone’s home, Sunday night dinner and movie, a cruise, volunteer work, going to a rodeo, ballet or symphony, attending a cooking class, Game Night at someone’s home (bring your favorite board game), a Dance Gala inviting all-city singles, bowling, and just about anything else people enjoy doing together.