Now you need to get lay of land.

1.All-singles affairs aren’t best way to meet potential dates. It’s too forced and male:female ration is always askew. Attend them, but not exclusively. 2.If you’re a woman, consider adding Internet dating to your mix. There are more men online than women. 3.Men aren’t against marriage. A man who’s married once is likely to marry again. It’s women who file for divorce 2/3rds of time. 4.At 50, if you’re a woman and want to get married, there are 4 single women for each single man. However, only 8% of women polled by AARP wanted a spouse, so odds are better than they appear. 5.For dating, they’re less than they appear. 80% of men over 50 say they want to date a younger woman. The older they are, wider gap they want. 6.People do differentiate between “dating” and “a partner.” The top things they’re looking for in both are personality and compatibility. However, when dating, appearance matters more. 7.Introductions from friends and family are best bet, followed by workplace, but most people who’ve dated someone in their office say they won’t do it again. 8.Only 2% of women and 20% of men think sex is acceptable on first date. (AARP) 9.If you get turned down for a date, it isn’t you. 9% of seniors say they wouldn’t date anyone, any time, under any circumstance. 10.Only when you’ve gotten over past and love yourself, are you ready to date and love again. 11.Go slow. The divorce rate for second marriages is 60-70%.

One last thing that hasn’t changed: if they don’t write, don’t call, they just aren’t that into you. Sad, but not end of world. Put a smile on your face and throw your hat back in ring. Someone is hoping you’ll find them one sweet day!

True love is something else that never changes.

CHURCH SINGLES GROUPS & SUNDAY SCHOOL CLASSES

Many churches and religious institutions actively minister to singles and offer Sunday School classes, Bible study, small groups, social events, and volunteer opportunities. Ask other singles where good ones are, and call around to some churches to see what they offer singles.

SPEED DATING OR PRE-DATING

Speed dating or pre-dating is another option. Either in-person at a public location, or by phone and Internet, you meet people in your age and interest category in short (6 minutes?) “pre-dates”. (See www.pre-dating.com .)

“We facilitate whole thing,” say these folks, who schedule events in various cities throughout US, “so there’s no awkwardness, no pressure, no embarrassment and no games … just great fun!” Couples who indicate a mutual interest are given each other’s contact information after event.

Here are some of categories: Singles (ages 40-49); Jewish Singles, Single Parents, Interracial (White Men/Black Women), Latin/Speakers of Spanish Singles; Younger Women (25-39) / Older Men (40-55), Younger Men (25-37) / Older Women (38-49), Athletic Singles, East / West Indian Singles, Marriage Minded Singles, Smokers / Smoker Tolerant Singles, Tall Women (5/10”+) / Tall Men, and Singles without Children.

Sample venue? Complimentary quesadilla bar and happy hour drink specials from 4:30 – 7:30 p.m., held on a Wednesday night, cost is around $35. They say you’ll connect with about 10-12 people.

What if you fit one category but want to date within another? Say you’re a 60 year old man who likes to date 25 year olds, or a tall women who prefers short men? Pre-dating.com says they “favor diversity” and will try to accommodate, but only allow about 1 in 10 to be out-of-category.

Initially I thought this mode best for extraverts who love frenzy and sheer numbers, but introverts could also do well because they’re perceptive and get a chance to visit one-on-one, which is their forte.

DANCING

Dancing is great fun and exercise, and a great way to meet new people of all ages. Check out local dance venues to see if they’re offering dance classes. You can brush up on your skills at a local dancing school, and also meet other singles there.

Or take group lessons at local dance halls which offer them free (or for little) early in evening to help fill up place on “off” nights. Even fabled Bill Bob’s offers dance lessons on Thursday nights, in their case bringing in national talent to teach it, but if your town’s like mine, you’ll be amazed at local talent.

To locate a dancing teacher near you, go here: http://www.dancespots.net/Find/FindATeacher.asp?SE=Y .

CONCLUSION

These are just a few of ways you can put yourself around other single people in a more structured way and get a jump on a social life. Active participation allows you to meet other singles, possibly for dating, while also meeting friends, enjoying your life, going new places, trying new things, learning new skills, and having fun.