Do you wonder how you can reconnect, and bring back those loving feelings? Do you think about seeking outside help to guide you through
process?BE CAREFUL!
Many couples first consider calling their pastor. The person you call at this critical time could determine success or failure of your relationship. If you choose an untrained person, you may be headed for divorce.
WHY?
Early, effective and knowledgeable intervention saves marriages. Most pastors receive no marriage and family training.
Many struggling couples considering divorce say they sought help from their pastor at least once, often several times. Most admit they received no helpful information, learned no new skills, got spiritual “shoulds” rather than practical “how to” skills.
If nothing changes, relationship deteriorates further.
I see above scenario so often I am fed up! Just last week a husband and father who filed for divorce told me that third time he sought help from his pastor he was told, “There is nothing you can do. If it doesn’t change you should be happy knowing you are suffering for Christ.”
That was three years ago. At that point marriage could have been saved. Now it’s too late.
How do you know whether to seek help from your pastor? Consider following questions. If you don’t know answer, ask pastor.
CHECKLIST FOR PASTOR QUALIFIED TO COUNSEL RELATIONSHIPS:
1. Is your pastor certified in Marriage and Family Therapy or is s/he professionally trained in marriage enrichment strategies and skills?
If not, does s/he willingly refer to professionals or recommend skills training classes? We know that most marital problems result from lack of interpersonal skills, not from spiritual problems, nor from abuse, addictions or other severe situations.
