Making Time for the Small StuffWritten by Barbara Myers
Whatever your occupation, you probably feel there is never enough time in day to take care of little things. We all have tasks we need or want to do but seem to never get done. "Wanna-do's" around house pile up. "Gotta-get-to's" at office become stacks on your desk. What is solution? There is a quick and easy two-part answer.First, make a list of all those little chores you have been putting off. Most take very little time to accomplish, and therefore, are postponed indefinitely. At home, your task list might include: frame pictures, clean out junk drawer, wash spaghetti sauce off ceiling. At work, you might list: read organizing newsletter, order pens, edit e-mail folders.
| | Living with PainWritten by Cynthia Perkins, M.Ed.
Pain is an inevitable part of life. In living with a chronic illness or chronic pain, pain is no stranger to us and we are likely to endure more than average person may endure. Much of pain that we experience can’t be eliminated or treated, so we have no choice but to learn to live with it. In my struggle to learn how to do this and to still find meaning and purpose in life I have learned many things and developed a new relationship with my pain. As a mental health professional and a person who lives with chemical sensitivity, fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue syndrome, I deal with a great deal of pain daily. In my own exploration of pain, and in my professional experience, I have found there are several intertwined levels of pain: physical level, emotional/psychological and spiritual level. Severe physical pain is likely to cause emotional distress as one struggles to cope with feelings of loss, grief and anger associated with diminished abilities or changes in lifestyle or identity. In forming a new identity that includes being ill, one may struggle with spiritual pain of existential aloneness. Questions such as “Why me? And “What is purpose of my life now?” may arise. I endure excruciating pressure, aching and pinching in my muscles, joints, bones, and head and I live with excessive fatigue and weakness. I have chronic headaches, which frequently turn into migraines. I have severe aching and stabbing pains throughout my gastrointestinal system and in my internal organs. I also have a great deal of grief and loss in response to limits illness imposes on me. For example, I have to completely avoid common everyday chemicals such as perfumes, air fresheners, pesticides, scented laundry products, and disinfectants. In avoiding these substances this means that I must also avoid people who may have these odors on their person. A large part of my life is spent alone at home or doing outdoor activities like walking or country rides. Even so, I have to be careful to avoid lawn chemicals or pollutants in air. It is particularly painful and frustrating to be prevented from participating in life as fully as I would like. There is no doubt that pain on any level is unpleasant and disrupting. It is only natural that our first response to it is to want to eliminate it as quickly as possible with whatever means are available. But I think there is a problem with how we are taught to view and deal with pain. Our culture teaches that pain is bad, unnecessary and should be quickly eliminated. If we are not successful at eradicating our pain we are viewed as weak or malingering. If we are in pain, then we (or our doctors or medical science in general) have somehow failed. The message in our society is that we should not feel. We are bombarded from advertising, media, medical authorities, etc. That we should never let ourselves feel any pain. The promise of pain relief is everywhere. If we have a headache or stomachache or muscle aches, or if we feel sad, lonely, anxious, depressed or shy we should take a pill that will fix symptom or feeling. And then we wonder why one of our largest problems in society today is addiction. This attitude actively promotes addiction. We are obsessed in finding and providing quick fixes and quick relief from every little ache, twinge, pain, grief or discomfort. In reality of my life, I have found there are no quick fixes and pain generally cannot be completely removed or controlled. Nor should it be. Some pain is necessary and serves a purpose as a messenger. We must often learn to live with pain effectively and listen to it rather than always trying to medicate it away. Although I do not subscribe to popular New Age belief that everything happens for a reason, I do believe that we can take a very painful experience and make meaning out of it. In spite of suffering illness may impose on our lives it may also help us to change, grow and learn. My illness has challenged me to redefine my identity, my values and my priorities, which led me to find deeper meaning in life. I have also found a strong connection to nature.
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