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The body is very wise. We need to honor this wisdom because sometimes pain can be a signal that we need to change something in our diet, environment, lifestyle or our relationships. In this way, pain can be a great motivator. If we listen closely to our pain and pay attention to our body and our states of mind, our discoveries may guide us to what we need to do to reduce our pain. I have found that some of my own muscle and joint pains, as well as depression and anxiety, have been triggered or made worse by food allergies, certain chemicals and by nutritional deficiencies. I eliminated wheat and refined white sugar and became free of
anxiety attacks and severe depression that crippled me since my teenage years. By correcting a magnesium deficiency, I reduced chronic muscle pain by half. My pain has also taught me to become more outspoken and expressive, to get more sleep, to exercise according to my needs and to decrease stress. Pain has taught me to live more consciously within my limits.
Some pain should never be limited or eliminated too quickly, even if it may feel overwhelming. The loss of a relationship or death of a loved one as well as loss and grief one experiences living with chronic illness should be felt fully and mourned. The pain should run it’s natural course, otherwise it may cause difficulties later.
Then there is insidious kind of pain that seems to have no message or purpose. Or by time we realize what message or purpose is, there is already permanent damage done to body. It is often excruciating, disruptive and untreatable. For this category of pain, I found I must “go into it”. What does this mean? I allow myself to acknowledge and fully experience my frustration, resentment, grief and outrage over my suffering. I also allow myself to feel and experience physical pain in its entirety. I embrace it and become one with it. I surrender to it and I flow along with it and allow it to flow through me. I must come to accept it and learn to function within it. I must make pain my companion rather than my enemy. I have found that if I fully accept, rather than resist, pain in this way then it no longer has same power over my life. Initially in my illnesses I did a lot of cure chasing which eventually led me to realize that I was wasting a lot of time, energy and money. I found that I made more progress when I focused on learning how to live with my illness and within my limits.
Learning to live with pain is a difficult process. It is not a recipe that is same for everyone. It does, however, require a commitment to ourselves and a willingness to confront and challenge our social conditioning. We must give ourselves permission to feel without labels, judgments or time limits. We must let go of societies expectations and listen to our internal wisdom. It is important to support people in their efforts to listen to their internal wisdom and to validate their findings. At times it may be hard for us to hear messages carried in our pain or to appreciate them because pain is too great. There may be setbacks into old thinking patterns and we may not be able to accept, flow and find meaning for a while. We may feel angry at our fate. All of this is part of natural coping process, too, and it needs to be felt and respected. In no way does fact that pain carries valuable messages for us minimize frustration and suffering one endures, but I believe it is possible and necessary to honor both wisdom received and suffering.
Cynthia Perkins, M.Ed., writer, educator, therapist/advisor/coach and Holistic Health Consultant Specializing in Life Management and Support for Living with Chronic Illness, Chronic Pain, and Disability as well as Sexuality and Sexual Intimacy. FREE Newsletter and FREE 30 minute Consultation http://www.holistichelp.netl
