Increase Acknowledgment for More Ease in Your RelationshipsWritten by Caterina Rando
In a program on "Power Thinking for Better Living," there was a woman named Sherry in audience—and she was frustrated. She said she was doing a decent job of managing her life; her problem, she stated, was her husband and her teenage son. She continued, "They don’t listen to me; they do not seem to notice all that I do for them, and they never help out." At work or at home, it is easy to point finger at other people and say that they are our problem. However, blaming others just leads to a dead end. We cannot control other people, and we will waste a lot of energy and give ourselves a lot of grief when we try. If Sherry wanted things to be different at home, she had to find a way within her control to create change. Knowing that demanding rarely works, and that begging is too demeaning to use on a regular basis, I suggested that Sherry try acknowledging her husband and her son. Every day, she was to find one thing to acknowledge about her husband and one thing to acknowledge about her teenage son. She thought idea was ridiculous. I pointed out that usually she is focused on what is missing, that her current communication consisted mainly of statements such as "You never help with dinner," "You forgot to take out trash," or "Whose socks are these on floor?" Desperate for more harmony at home, she decided to try experiment. Every day, she looked for one thing for which to acknowledge her family members. At first, she said, it was hard. Soon it became easier, and soon after that, she noticed more interest in helping from her teenage son, and more closeness and connection from her spouse. After first week, Sherry committed to continuing this daily practice indefinitely. A few weeks later at dinner with her family, laughing and conversing, Sherry was overcome with emotion. All members of her family were enjoying each other and sharing time together in a way they had never experienced before.
| | Communicate Powerfully to Get What You WantWritten by Caterina Rando
The most important skill you can develop is ability to consistently communicate powerfully. When you are confident about your communication, you can easily ask for help picking up kids at school, a raise, even a date. Use these Powerful Communication Commandments and your communication will be more effective, create a receptive ear on part of your listener, and get results you want. Powerful Communication Commandments 1. EVERYTHING YOU SAY TO YOURSELF EITHER SERVES YOU OR SABOTAGES YOU. Do you tell yourself you can do it, do you tell yourself you deserve it or do you tell yourself something different, something less supportive? Turn those thoughts around and replace them with positive self-talk. 2. KNOW YOUR DESIRED OUTCOME. Before you make a phone call or go to a business meeting decide on your desired outcome. Then focus on how to make it easy for other party to give it to you. 3. ELIMINATE UNNECESSARY SPEECH FILLERS from your communication. Fillers are words and phrases such as "umm, well, it is sort-a like, its kind-a like." These take away from message you want to convey and instead convey a less effective message. 4. USE THE POWERFUL PAUSE. Do not be afraid to have a moment of silence between sentences. A pause, prefacing a response to a question holds attention of listener. 5. DO NOT INVALIDATE YOUR OWN COMMUNICATION. When you use word "but" it invalidates whatever thought proceeded it. Replace it with "and."
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