We trashed them because all but odd one or two were ill-considered, highly subjective, barely camouflaged advertising copy that had about as much editorial news value as last week’s shopping list.

Why am I telling you all this?

Because despite fact that this happened many years ago, it’s still happening today. Both offline and now online editors continue to laugh sardonically at self-promoting garbage they receive from corporate sources exactly as my Dad and I laughed umpty-dump years ago. I salivate just thinking about how I could spend fortunes wasted on those releases and photographs over so many years.

And why does this continue to happen? I believe it is because organizations who send out this stuff – particularly their financial managers – just can’t get their heads around difference in culture between what they want to say, and what editors need to deliver to their audiences.

Good PR advisers try hard to compensate, but ultimately it’s client who pays their fees, and if client insists on issuing garbage there’s not much a PR adviser can do other than resign business.

Time after time after time I’m called into companies and asked to comment on why PR coverage they get in media is so poor. 99 times out of a 100 it’s because they’ve issued press releases that are only of interest to themselves and their bosses. And yet when I point this out to them they can’t understand it.

“But our development team worked 14 hours a day for three years to win that contract!” they shout indignantly. “And CEO had to cut short his vacation in Turks & Caicos just so he could sign documents by deadline! I mean, it’s most important thing to have happened to us in history of company!”

“I know,” I croon soothingly, “but those points aren’t of much interest to readers of your regional business press, or your trade press for that matter.”

“Well, maybe not,” they reply. “But they are very relevant to us, and to our shareholders. That’s why we made such an elaborate issue of those points in press release.”

Ah, I think to myself as I gaze out of window to see if my creatively-parked car is going to attract attention of passing traffic policepersons. Here is another problem we encounter with press releases.

It’s called “when is a press release not a press release?” The answer is, when a press release is to be used to impress all sorts of people who are not members of press. Only we want them to think that this is what press will write about us, so we put it in a press release. That would be okay as long as that’s as far as it goes.

But awful truth is same document (paper or electronic) really does get sent out to press. And quite rightly they ignore it, once again because it is of no interest to readership of publication concerned.

For Heaven’s sake, you folks who do this sort of thing, please grow up and face reality. If you want to promote your achievements to your share/stockholders or staff or suppliers or whoever, then just go ahead and do it and dress it up in “press release” costume if you must, although I don’t think that fools anybody.

But whatever you do, don’t send it to press – and don’t kid yourself or anyone else that to use same document for both purposes is a way to economize. It’s a sure way to shoot yourself through foot and indirectly could cost you a fortune.

If you want to get coverage in media then you must forget all elements of self-congratulation. Whatever information you send out has to have something “in it for them” (the audience) - something new, interesting and relevant. It doesn’t have to be earth-shattering, just worth reading.

If your organisation has done something brilliant and you’re proud of it, by all means say so; just be sure to emphasise what’s great about it for audience and/or rest of world, not merely for yourselves. Let facts tell story. If your organisation genuinely deserves to be congratulated, it will be.

And you don’t simply have audience to consider in this case, because unlike forms of communication you control, with media coverage decision of whether or not to transmit your message rests with someone else – usually editor. Editors and journalists are either very busy or very lazy or both (and don’t chastise me for admitting that, guys. I’ve been there, done it, got T shirt and drank too much in brasserie at lunchtime too.)

If you supply them with material they can see is relevant to their readers and preferably is usable with minimum of editing, they will warm to it a lot faster than something that may hold a grain of interest but will take someone a whole evening to rewrite and several phone calls or e-mails to check for accuracy.

In a report, you’re supposed to report – not embellish, embroider, influence, etc. Just facts and nothing but facts.

This does not, however, mean that reports need to be dull and boring. It does, however, mean that you can’t make content more interesting than it really is. Impossible? No, it just takes some good organization and clear writing.

Before we go any further, there are numerous books and training courses on market that teach you formalities and practicalities of report writing. Some are more long-winded than others. Most of them are good.

Here in this article I can’t do what other writers do in a book, so if you need to write reports a lot, I recommend that you buy one or two of most popular books and study them. What I’m doing here then, is to highlight points I think are most important to help you make your reports more readable, and information in them come across more vividly.

If you work in a larger organization, there will probably be set formats for reports, at least for internal variety. Whether you like them or not you’re normally obliged to stick to them. However way you roll out and write your content is still up to you.

So what are key points to focus on?

1. Write for your reader

Don’t allow yourself to fall into “businessese” jargon and phrasing no matter how much you or other people may feel it’s more appropriate. It isn’t. Use language and tone of voice that your key readers will feel comfortable with.

If you don’t know what they feel comfortable with, find out. It’s well worth taking trouble, because it will make report much more enjoyable for them to read – a good reflection on you.

If your report is to be read by a wide variety of different audiences, focus your language on most important groups. Ensure that less topic-literate readers are catered for by using discreet explanations of technical terms or perhaps a short glossary of terms as an appendix within report.

2. Organize your information sensibly

Start by writing yourself out a list of headings which start at beginning and finish with conclusions of your information.

If you must include a lot of background information before you get into “meat” of information, section it off clearly with headings that say that it’s background (“Research Project Objectives,” “Research Methods Used To Collate Information,” “Personnel Involved In Questionnaire,” etc.) so those who know it all already can skip straight to important stuff.

Make sure your headings “tell story” so someone glancing through those alone will get basic messages. (You’ll find that busy executives will thank you for doing this, especially when they have 16 other, similar reports to read in a crowded commuter train on way into a meeting to discuss all of them.) Then fill in details under each heading as concisely as you can.

3. Use an “executive summary” to tell it in a nutshell

Depending on nature of your report you may be expected to include an executive summary, or at least an introduction that captures key points of your information. The objective of this is to give reader key issues as quickly as possible. Write this after you’ve done body of report, not before. Use your list of headings as a guide.

Keep strictly to facts – this is still part of report, not your interpretation of it. Strip each sentence down to bare bones with minimal adjectives and adverbs. Use short words and sentences. Don’t just get to point – start with it and stick to it.

4. If your interpretation is called for, keep it separate