How to overcome lonelinessWritten by Kerry-Ann Cox
Nowadays majority of people live in very large cities. It is hard to imagine that in cities of millions of people that anyone could feel lonely. However, it is because of huge size of cities that we do feel this way. Twenty years ago, you probably knew everyone who lived in your street, at least by sight. Now you are lucky if you know your next-door neighbors. In a world full of television, videos, computers and internet, it is easy to be isolated in your own house. We don't even have to go out to work or shop any more. It can all be done sitting a desk with a computer connected to net. Sometimes we do not even converse with those under same roof. The violence and crime we witness every day via nightly news and through serials and movies on television, make us afraid and sometimes even a little paranoid of those we do not know and sometimes even those we do know. Years ago, when we lived in small villages, we all felt we had a place we belonged. Everyone had a job that contributed to lives of those they knew and cared about. You knew that you worked for good of whole village. Without television and computers, people would talk, interact, make music, be creative and play games together. Of course, there were some drawbacks, everyone knew your business and at times you may have even felt a little claustrophobic. But there was not this desperate sense of isolation that seems so common today. In large cities, it often feels like we have become nothing more than a number and if we left tomorrow, hundreds of people would be right there ready to take over our place. In times when we are feeling low this may give us feeling that we are unimportant and that nobody cares if we are around or not.
| | Why You Need Coaching to Learn Emotional IntelligenceWritten by Susan Dunn, MA Clinical Psychology, The EQ Coach
Emotional intelligence (EQ) is ability to recognize your feelings and those of others, to motivate yourself, and to manage emotions well in yourself and others. (Goleman, 1995). EQ can be learned, so of course we’re interested in how to measure it. Many of tests are self-report, meaning individuals are asked to rate themselves in different categories. The assessment Goleman created, Emotional Competence Inventory (ECI) assesses 20 emotional competencies. It’s probably already occurred to you that someone who isn’t very high in EQ wouldn’t be able to assess their own EQ very well, because it takes awareness. In fact one of scales on ECI is called Accurate Self Assessment, and measures how aware person is of their own strengths and weaknesses. And, yes, it turns out in a study done by Michelle Burckle, that those who scored low in Accurate Self Assessment had much larger gaps between their views of themselves and other’s views of them.
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