For most of us, it is not practical to uproot and move to a small town. Therefore, for our own peace of mind, we need to find a sense of belonging in another way.

A great way to feel a part of your population and not so alone is to be apart of community. Get involved by doing some type of voluntary work. You could help out by reading to elderly in nursing homes or donating your time to your favorite charity or sporting club. Volunteering is a great way to meet new people, build your self-esteem and get back in touch with that feeling of being an important part of your neighborhood. To find out volunteering opportunities in your area try searching on internet or contact your local council, they will know how to put you in touch with.

On a more esoteric level you can work with your base charka. An energized Base chakra can give us feeling of connection and belonging that we carve. The Base chakra is our connection to earth and every other living being, it is our connection to oneness. (To find out more about charkas go to http://www.exaltedliving.com/charkas.htm )

To develop a sense of belonging, go and find yourself a piece of grass to sit on. Then feel or visualize your Base charka (which comes out and down from root of your spine) going down connecting you strongly to earth. If your focus is strong, you will feel a connection with all of life that is around you. If you practice this exercise over a period of time you will start to know that you are connected to all life and that you are in fact all life. You will know oneness. In this state you will know that there cannot be a thing called loneliness, how could there be when all is one.

And this is interesting – those who scored high in Accurate Self Assessment rate themselves slightly less emotionally intelligent than they are perceived. And conversely, those low in Accurate Self Assessment tend to view themselves as more emotionally intelligent than others do.

Ms. Burckle concluded that self-assessments alone could be misleading, and multi-rater assessments would be more desirable in evaluating emotional intelligence.

I believe one could also conclude that a coach is a necessary part of mix – to have objectivity to gather data, use multi-rater assessments, observe person in action, and help them learn with feedback. The most salient result of research was that we aren’t good at assessing our own emotional intelligence, and it follows that we also would not be good, alone, at changing it, observing difference, and getting it right.