In contrast, good habits create a kind of “success auto-pilot,” leading to greater accomplishment with less thought and less effort.

So how do you best eliminate bad habits and create good ones? Research from new field of “positive psychology” – scientific study of happy, successful people – points to at least four proven techniques for successful habit management.

1. Replace a bad habit with a good one. Completely eliminating a habit is much harder than replacing it with a more productive habit. Studies of people who compulsively bite their fingernails have shown that it is very difficult for them to completely give up their habit, and much easier for them to substitute biting with more productive habit of grooming their nails.

Similarly, people who talk too much during meetings struggle to become silent, but find it much easier to replace their compulsive talking with highly attentive listening.

2. Exercise. A habit of regular exercise is obviously important for lasting weight loss. But you may not realize that exercise helps in accomplishing a variety of goals, and in eliminating a number of bad habits.

But what happens when we achieve a goal? Well, have you ever talked to someone who finally got a book published, or won a political campaign, found partner they wanted, had new baby, or got big promotion and found them somewhat down in dumps after a week or so?

It’s a law of physics and a law of emotions that what goes up must come down. We need our successes, and certainly to have our goals and to reach them. This makes life interesting, allows us to explore ourselves and our potentials and talents, gives us a livelihood, and enriches our lives. We celebrate our successes with great joy and happiness, but this can only be a temporary state. What then?

Authentic and lasting happiness is a state of being not a state of mind. It must come from inner states, not external events. When you develop your emotional intelligence, you’re more likely to achieve this state. It allows you to conduct yourself in happiness, in a positive state, through all ups and downs of life.

Why develop your emotional intelligence? As W. L. Shirer wrote, “Most true happiness comes from one’s inner life, from disposition of mind and soul. Admittedly, a good inner life is hard to achieve, especially in these trying times. It takes reflection and contemplation and self-discipline.”

These are all emotional intelligence competencies which you can develop. It’s well worth your time. Instead of focusing on “time management,” or “stress management,” or “leadership,” or “communication,” go to foundational level and develop your emotional intelligence. Instead of taking a part, grab whole. It will keep you off “pleasure roller coaster,” where you expect momentary highs to last forever, or to sustain you through inevitable challenges.