I'm sure there are many books written on this subject, but we came up with a simple way to find out how other important people in your life get to feel loved. Just pay attention to how they show love to you.

For most part, we know what makes us feel loved, so we assume that is true for everyone else. When we encounter others we love, we show them our love by what works for us. Most of us don't even think about, let alone talk about it, so it's not surprising that we don't 'get' that there are different ways to show and feel loved. Some examples might be:

(a) Physical demonstration, lots and lots of hugs

(b) Small gifts or 'necessities' that say 'I was thinking about you when you weren't in my face'. (c) Saying, frequently, 'I love you'.

(d) Asking pertinent questions about your day, how you're feeling, what you think about things, etc.

(e) Working their butt off to provide other person with stability, security, food, shelter.

Here are some ideas to make use of this information:

Rule #1 Expect A Great Deal From Your Kids

If your kids know that you expect a lot from them, they’ll rise to occasion. Everything from saying please and thank-you, to efforts in school or on athletic field, if expectations are made clear in a loving atmosphere your kids will know that you think a lot of them. When they know this, they’ll respond.

Rule #2 Always Be Willing To Be Problem

When you’re convinced that someone in your family is causing problems and you’re blaming them for it, realize that this problem won’t get better until you accept that you’re making it worse by blaming them. It may briefly feel good to blame, but it never improves anything. Loving and accepting that person will make a positive difference.

Rule #3Know Your Child’s Life Intimately

Get to know all that you can about your kids. Know what their favorite toys and colors are, who their best friends are, who their heroes are, etc. By showing interest, you’re showing you love them. By not asking, you show that they’re not that important to you.

Rule #4Say No To Your Kids

There’s an awful lot of stuff out there for kids these days...and of course they want to have it all. Kids who get almost everything they want typically don’t turn out to be very happy kids. Kids learn discipline, self-control, and how to delay gratification when they are told no by their parents. It may be a difficult struggle, but saying no and meaning it will help you to have happy, healthy, and cooperative kids.

Rule #5Hitting or Spanking Your Kids Doesn’t Work

There are plenty of studies showing that kids who are spanked have lower self-esteem. Spanking your kids will also be likely to increase very kinds of behaviors that you are spanking them for. As a father, do you really want your child to be afraid of you?

Rule #6Treat Your Wife Extremely Well