2. Either share experiment or tell others in your life what really makes you feel loved. Unless it's pointed out to us, most of us don't get this 'intuitively'. Why sit around waiting for them to figure it out when you could be feeling loved? After all, you needed someone to point it out to you!

3. If other person shows their love by working their butt off to make your life better, I think simplest way to have them feel love is to acknowledge what they do and how much you appreciate it.

4. What makes me feel loved might be different depending on who person is (a parent vs a spouse, for example)

5. I probably need all different forms of being shown love at different times, depending on what I'm experiencing at time. However, there is one that is dominant, that will do trick most of time.

6. It is possible to experience shift of 'knowing' that you are loved to 'feeling' you are loved. And feeling that you are loved may be one of greatest tonics ever.

Rule #7Actions Speak Louder Than Words

Many parents spend time threatening their children when their kids aren’t cooperating. But if you don’t follow through on consequences, you can threaten till cows come home. Your children will learn to ignore threats. They’ll understand action. If certain privileges are taken away because of their lack of cooperation, they’ll learn very quickly that you mean business. Try your best to align consequences with action. ( If you don’t clean your room in time, you won’t have time for stories before bed.)

Rule #8Really Listen to Your Kids

Don’t just hear their words, but learn to understand meaning behind what they say as well. I’m picking my own clothes! might mean that your child wants more responsibility or independence. Be able to reflect back what your child says to you. If you want your child to listen to you, you absolutely must listen to her/him.

Rule #9Give Your Kids Responsibility as They Grow Older

When your kids are very young, maybe they just help make their beds in morning and keep their rooms clean. As they get older, add things to their list. Tell them that this is how a family works…everybody has certain things that they do. If you do it when they’re young it’s more likely they’ll do it when they’re older. Don’t reward them for things that should be expected of them.

Rule #10Tell Your Kids They’re Great All Time

It is especially important to tell them this when they’re not at their best. It’s easy to tell them when things are going well. Make it a point to tell them specifically what you think is great about them. This will be more meaningful than generalized praise.

Mark Brandenburg MA, CPCC, is author of 25 Secrets of Emotionally Intelligent Fathers (http://www.markbrandenburg.com/e_book.htm#secrets. For more great tips and action steps for fathers, sign up for his FREE bi-weekly newsletter, Dads, Don’t Fix Your Kids, at http://www.markbrandenburg.com

Mark Brandenburg MA, CPCC, is the author of 25 Secrets of Emotionally Intelligent Fathers (http://www.markbrandenburg.com/e_book.htm#secrets. For more great tips and action steps for fathers, sign up for his FREE bi-weekly newsletter, Dads, Don’t Fix Your Kids, at http://www.markbrandenburg.com