(an actual transcript of a mini-keynote speech by David Leonhardt, The Happy Guy)Has anybody here ever been stuck in traffic for a frustratingly long time? Put up your hand if you have.
Oooh! Don’t you just hate that? And some people don’t mind showing us how much they hate it. We call it "road rage".
Has anybody ever waited in a ticket lineup or a checkout lineup for a frustratingly long time? Let me see those hands.
Believe it or not, some people don’t like that either. We call it "lineup rage".
Has anybody ever been stuck waiting in a doctor’s office for a frustratingly long time? Let me see those hands.
And then you see somebody suddenly jump up and tear his hair out and scream, “Let me out. I’ve been here three hours. Three days. Three months!” Well, I really should apologize. I didn’t mean to scare your kids. I was just demonstrating "waiting room rage".
Let me tell you a story about
Lwungwa River Valley – that’s in Africa, you know. The dry season there gets very dry. My throat is getting dry just thinking about it. The Lwangwa River stops rushing. It slows to a trickle. Finally, it stops flowing, and all that are left are pools of water, here and there.
One by one, animals head to higher ground. To forest cover. To other water holes. Anywhere they can find food or drink. Just like we will all do later. Did I say all animals? Not all. Not hippos.
The hippos stay in their river at it slows to a stream. They stay in stream as it turns into pools. They stay in pools as they shrink into puddles. As puddles shrink, hippos get more crowded. As hippos get more crowded, they get surly. Cranky. Grumpy. They gnash their teeth. They poke at each other. They pick fights. It’s river rage!
Has anyone ever come face to face with a raging hippopotamus? Don’t be shy. Go ahead, put up your hands. Sure, when we’re young – I’m sure you all remember this as I do – we’re taught that they’re slow, cute, and cuddly. They might even be pink or purple and do those dances in tutus like in Fantasia.
