Marcy* was diagnosed with Tourettes syndrome at age of sixteen. Due to this disease, she is unable to work and thus is forced to depend on government for money. "Do you know how much states give us to live on each month?" her friend Joan* asks, "It's not even poverty level." Due to a lack of funding, Marcy had to move back home. "It makes me feel like I'll never be able to have my own place," she says, "I'll always depend on someone... and that's not my idea of fun."

Joan also suffers from a disability which prevents her from working. Due to a rare neuro-muscular disease called Kearns-Sayre syndrome, she will soon be wheelchair-bound. "When people buy or rent places they don't have to think about two years down road. I have to. I know I have to be on ground level. No stairs. Inside there must be lower counters. The bathrooms must be accessible. There have to be ramps." Looking for somewhere meeting all of those requirements which also fit into her budget was difficult. "It made me feel alienated."

Many times we forget that making more money or moving to a larger home is not a change that children will understand. The younger child, less able they are to "see into future" as you do. They tend to focus on losing security they already know, along with missing friends and family. Your job is to turn sadness and doubt into happiness. Ask yourself what advantages there are for child in move. For example, will family be closer to Grandma, ocean, or another favorite person, place, or activity?

One of easiest ways to turn an unhappy frown into joy and excitement is to communicate frequently. Let your children know, step by step, what is happening and what is likely to happen next. Tell them what move means to family -- how important it is that Mommy got a big promotion or that Daddy is opening a new office for his company, and how other aspects of move will be good for child.

Be ready for those "What about me?" questions by researching schools, churches, activities, and community amenities in advance, and offer your child choices and ways to participate where it is appropriate. Whenever possible, look up information on Internet, or have your agent e-mail, fax, or mail vital information about community so that you and your child can plan where to go and who to meet in order to help ease transition into new activities and surroundings. Contact organizations with whom your child is already associated or with whom he or she has an interest, and ask for referrals to your new city. Knowing they won't have to give up favorite hobbies or sports goes a long way toward helping children adjust.

Making contacts with future friends, classmates, and fellow hobbyists can also go a long way toward helping your child's transition to a new home and environment. See if your agent, other transferees, or family can put you in touch with other children your child's age so that a chat room or e-mail friendship can begin.