For past three years or more, God has been so unbelievably gracious to my family and I. (And yes, I know I employed double expletives there, by hey, it warrants it!) In every possible fashion. Just as Israelites were fed manna and 2quail day by day, God has miraculous taken care of us. And let me tell you, menu has been so much better in terms of variety! With little to no money to speak of, we have had strangers drop off bags of food that we could have never purchased. Neighbors, people we had never spoken to (and I say that with a certain regret), for no apparent reason, have knocked on our door and given us gifts of money. Especially at times when we needed it most.

Mind you, none of us are wearing designer clothing, but, just as clothes of Israelites did not wear out for 3forty years, we have been blessed beyond measure in this area as well. People dropping off bags of new or almost new clothes that just happened to fit one or all of our children. In other words, against all odds, and without really deserving His benevolence, God has been there for us. During three years of financial hardship, God has never let us down. At beginning of 2005, as is general custom at our church, we filled out financial commitment cards. Members of Saint Peter's for several years, Shery and I have never filled out one of these cards, for various reason, Much of that time we were involved in ministry at other churches, but, to be brutally honest, tithe was an area of obedience that I had never fully given over to Lord. Swallow hard here and try and suppress desire to cry "Hypocrite!" This is one of those "Consider thyself" moments. Hello?

When you have thousands in bank, paying tithe is not that hard. But, when you paying your tithe means that you will not know where your meals are going to come from during last of month, obedience takes on a different sense of meaning. For one, it makes your faith operative for whole of one's family. But, um... I guess that is what it means to be priest of one's home. Well, that excuse did not work well.

Anyways, upon reentry into ministry, it was not that hard to explain away. I was ministering without pay and so I reasoned that our tithe would be used to pay our expenses. Hey, that is not too bad of an idea! I mean, I am an Ox (notice pride of capitalized spelling) and there certainly was no need to muzzle me!4 However, all along, I still felt as if I was missing something or feeling as if I was failing to comply to a scriptural demand that I have known and preached for many years.

This morning, while preparing spiritually for communion, my heart began to move within me. Conviction moved heavy upon my heart. For a month, my wife had had tithe check written out for month of January and this happened to be last Sunday in January. Even before first word was spoken or melody heard during today's service, my mind was trying to reconcile a way in which I could legitimately hold back that tithe. With Sacrament of Communion before me, as well as admonitions of Apostle Paul, while writing to Corinthian Church about abuses concerning Lord's Supper, ringing in my ear: 27 Therefore, whoever eats bread or drinks from cup in an unworthy manner will be held responsible for Lord's body and blood. 28 A person must examine himself and then eat bread and drink from cup. 29 For one who eats and drinks without recognizing body eats and drinks judgment on himself. (1 Cor 11, ISV) Among many times I had read this scripture, either while officiating sacraments or as a participant, I had never really considered myself worthy. Yet, I had never really been overwhelmed by my unworthiness either. Now, please, don't take that statement as being obnoxious. It truly is not meant to be.

Enter another world. There are many infamous popes in annals of papacy. Sample this list: The “monster” and “terrorizing criminal,” Pope Sergius III. The grand adulterer, Pope John XII. The “antichrist,” Pope Boniface VII. The simonists Popes John XV, John XIX, and Benedict VIII. The robber of “pilgrims on graves of martyrs,” Pope Benedict IX. Others are exterminator, Pope Innocent III. The professed atheist who called Christ a “hypocrite,” Pope Boniface VIII. The violator of “three hundred nuns” and “two hundred girls” called “Devil incarnate,” Pope John XXIII. The fathers of illegitimate children and keepers of concubines, Popes Pius II and Paul II. The amusement seeker, Pope Leo X. The most corrupt Renaissance pope who had sex with his sisters and daughter and conducted a sex orgy in Vatican, Pope Alexander VI.

But fame or infamy is not exclusive preserve of men and popes. Because some countries have joined list. Examine Poland. That nation is better known for wars and pogroms, communism and concentration camps—not for simile, as honest as a Pole. Or rather as honest as John Paul. I did not affix pope to that name because honesty seems to be a strange quality in history of popedom. Holiness is an anathema to vicars of Christ!

But Pope John Paul II did separate himself from infamous list before he died. Not when he goofed and said that Bible book of Genesis is compatible with theory of evolution. For evolution and creation are two opposite things. The pope proved that he was in another class when he apologized for sins of Roman Catholic Church. It takes a lot of courage to do so and many dyed in wool Catholics were opposed to “mea culpa.” But John Paul could not be deterred. He was a honest pope.